Yesterday I caught Joren filling up his rainboot with pool water and drinking it.
Really. I'm not kidding.
Relief Society responsibilities have taken my whole day except 1 1/2 hours that I spent this afternoon with my family. I loved those hours. Now I have another hour of work to do for RS and then it will be 12:30. I realized in sacrament mtg that I have not been doing my best to read and pray often enough to get filled up with the spirit. Responsibilities get hard and overwhelming when you are not filled up with love which is the power of God. I get too tired without being filled up and the responsibilities become a burden. I am tired tonight. Our stake boundaries got changed today and we have 10 active sisters that will now be attending another ward and 140 inactive members moved to another ward. I am so relieved that I am not the RS president receiving 150 new sisters that are almost all inactive. In this work, building the kingdom, the purpose is to change lives and bring people unto Him. I wonder if I have done any good. I know of two sisters who have benefited from my stewardship, but they might have thrived just as much without me. I have befriended many but maybe it made no difference. I have given lots of responsibilities and assignments, but were any of them life changing? Has anyone's perspective or relationship with Christ improved from something I have done? My lessons are usually mediocre at best. I sometimes wonder if I am working myself to death without a direct enough purpose in mind. The general RS presidency counsels us to only put effort into fruitful endeavors. I need to consider more fully if we are spinning our wheels. How can I be more effective? Are we getting the fruit from our labors? How can I delegate more effectively? If things don't get done, i can't be the one to always pick up the reins.. or is that what a leader does. My second counselor went out of town without planning an activity for June or July. So, do I do it, or just let it go? My first counselor did not get someone to summarize the lesson, so do I do it, or let it go? I conducted today and for once I did not stress out. I just got up there and let it be, perfect or not. It was nice.
more and more I am learning the lesson Heavenly Father wants me to learn is to let things go-- but only certain things. it is so hard to know what to pick. maybe for june july you could just say " come to the church with a project you want to work on and everything you need for it or just bring yourself and come visit. no refreshments and everyone helps set up and take down tables and chairs. no handouts, just tell your visiting teaching ladies.
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