2015 New Years Resolutions

Paul:
read more
Play less video games
Buy a new practice
Make my body a priority
Buy a house

Eirik
Read Percy Jackson series
Play more skylanders giants
Work harder to earn more money
Coach pitch baseball- spring
Tae Kwon do- year round
Swimming- summer
Willow brook- summer
Soccer- fall
Basketball - winter


Joren:
controlling my temper
Help mom
Keep my personal space
Get better at math
Be a better reader
Get a full body wetsuit
Baseball- spring
Swimming- summer
Willowbrook- summer
Gymnastics-?
Soccer- fall
Basketball- winter



Teig
Better at listening
Learn all my letters
start reading lessons with mom
Swimming- summer
Tumbling- winter
Baseball -summer
Preschool- fall

Juni:
walk, talk and feed myself

Mom:
Be present and not distracted with my kids
Plan FHE lessons ahead
Make book with pictures and stories about ancestors
Get deeply involved in my kids sports endeavors- help them succeed
Design our dream home
Pay off high interest loans
Put more time into my relationships with my grandparents
Develop more friendships outside the church
Focus on teaching kids principles
Have a great time in lake Powell and Disneyland
Be more involved at the kids schools
Once a week yoga class in spring
Make some cute things for Juni

Joren 6 years old

I mentioned in my Christmas post that Joren has been "naughty". He has put on full display his nonconformist personality at school this year. He continues to refuse to wear anything I choose, mostly just because he did not choose it. His clothes all have to fit snug therefor he likes to wear teigs clothes even when the arms go only to his elbows or the legs are far too short. He likes Teigs winter coat best too and will dig in his heals and throw a fit so I pick my battles and just get him out the door looking mostly decent most days. He hated for me to comb his hair and rhns away or screams when i do, every morning. He gets in trouble at school for things like butting his head into his teacher, hiding under her desk, teasing people, getting in peoples space, jumping in people, taking things that font nelong to him, hiding in the closet, pretending his ears dont work and refusing to do what he is asked. His recent report card said he frequently misses instructions and needs to be helped individually because he was not listening. I have had frequent phone calls, emails and conferences with his teacher, the school secretary and the principle about how to help him get his behavior in line. Jorens teacher Ms. Edwards devised a program where he would receive compliments for good behavior and when he received 15 compliments he would earn a paper airplane throwing recess. He worked hard and when he reached his goal he made a paper airplane for every kid in the whole kindergarten and first grade. Joren thought is was pretty awesome that he could make better airplanes than many of the older kids. He felt pretty important! When he had earned 25 compliments Ms. Edwards made a giant volcano explode in their classroom. Joren got to stand up at the front of the room and got credit for earning it with is good behavior. I like to think that the incentives helped. Im not sure, but its bound to get better. Last week in his prayer he said, "please help me learn how to listen better." I am proud of him for his efforts but even more than that I am frustrated because he is so belligerent and deliberately ignores me and does the opposite of what I ask. Well, he did respond when I told him he lost presents. He is such a huge charmer! He makes everyone fall in love with him with his earnest creative nature. It was fun to spoil him at Christmas and I love to see him happy. I have learned a lot from Jorens school team and I am continually amazed by his awesome teacher. Look what she wrote to me yesterday by email:

"I received a new book -- one I have been longing to read (Counting by 7s) -- I am a super dork for kid-lit. As I started it, I could not stop thinking of Joren. I imagine school does not always feel like a good fit for him, and it is my dream that through this year he finds a way to hold on to all the wonder and curiosity and imagination he possesses, and find ways he can make school work for him, without losing any of who he is. I treasure that vision, and only hope I can be a helpful guide in his journey.What a glorious year lies ahead for all of us!!"

Ahh Christmas...

Christmas was a whole new experience for me this year. I did a lot of things different than in years past. First, Christmas had ALWAYS been about making homemade gifts. I think I always thought I did not have enough money for a decent gift so I worked REALLY hard on homemade gifts to compensate. This year I just spent a boatload of money on everyone and did not make one single thing. Second, Christmas has always been about decorating and making things pretty and festive. I live in a home where I am the only one of 6 people who care a whit about decorations. My boys were really excited to put up the tree but they would have been fine if it did not have its branches spread out, lights on it or a skirt under it. They just wanted a tree. So, I still decorated and fussed but it felt foolish and futile as I did so and I'll admit my heart was not as much in it as usual. Third, Christmas is usually about shopping and braving crowds and stores . I bought 99% of everything online at mostly amazon, my new best friend. There is no other way to go and I don't know how my kids would have any presents this year without The interwebs of love. And 4th, Christmas is usually about snow, but now that I am an Oregander, I am learning to train myself to expect Christmas when I see fog instead. By about dec. 20th, I realized that snow is really not coming but Christmas still is, so I better get ready, ready or not.
So there was no snow, no stores, no visit to Santa, no zoo, no crafts or sewing or homemade cards or even Christmas cards from us at all (that's a whole other story), and no fancy new homemade decorations or kids crafts (I KNOW) or even gingerbread houses (I KNOW!), but it was still Christmas, and it was still busy even though I bet you're wondering what we actually did do, and frankly I am too.
Paul's motto this month has been, "nothing feels better than canceled plans." I think with our 4 littles we both just thought it best to keep it simple. My motto is "Always complicate things".
Paul's second motto is, "Be as lazy as possible without sabotaging Melody's plans." Paul thinks my second motto is: "Do everything I can to keep Paul from ever getting a nap or any time to himself."
So basically, my gift to Paul was to plan nothing. We had a party for Goodskin Dermatology at Andina's, a very fancy Brazilian restaurant downtown. (Paul planned it and I thanked him profusely for not making it at our house!) It was wonderful! We all got to sit at one table in our own room. There were just enough seats and everyone came. We had 21 people. We all went around and introduced our spouses. I got to do a toast to Paul which was a special moment for me to tell him in public how proud I am of him and what he has accomplished. I'll tell you what was a little surreal was to see my young husband sit at the head of this large table full of guests who literally look to him for their daily bread. The symbolism of the moment was not lost on me. He conducted the dinner with dignity and grace and obvious leadership. Our guests were very gracious and grateful and kind. They were so pleased with our gift and bonuses and it was a very fun night.
We also got to go to a Blazers game. Thank you drug reps! I had the best time! My brother Dave got to go which made it way more fun because while Paul was schmoozing with all the docs and reps I got to joke around with Dave. Best brother ever! The Blazers lost at the last second by one point. Huge, huge let down! But the night could not have been more fun. Free babysitter.. Brother Michael.. Also Best Brother ever! No lines, no crowds, box seat, free food! Yes, it was totally the best! Yes, you can be jealous.
We were sick for a lot of the month. I think the kids have coughed for 4 weeks. I did go to the ward Christmas party.. by myself. The sick kids needed an early night to try to get better. My friend Christy went over the top decorating and making everything PERFECT. It was amazing and all I could think was SO MUCH WORK!
Eirik had basketball games every Saturday this month. He improved so much this season. He was so kind to his teammates and went out of his way many times to build team spirit and morale. He had a really good time and we had a fun celebration with pizza and trophies for his team at Round Table Pizza.
He also had belt testing for Tae quon do and got his yellow belt. We went to a really cool Masters Demonstration where his teachers for World Champion Tae Quon Do show off their skills. It was awesome! There were boards flying everywhere!
We went to the annual Aanderud cookie exchange at Pattys house. We took 11 plates of cookies and came home with 11 so we all got a huge variety to pass out. The kids and Paul were all really good sports about caroling as we passed them out.
On the 23rd we started a new tradition of eating Chicken A La King. The chicken is served in bread bowls shaped like crowns for the King of Kings. My good friend Erin Walker introduced it to us and all of my kids loved it. This is definitely a tradition we will keep doing. We spent the candlelit dinner talking about what gifts we will give our Savior this year. This was one of my favorite parts of the year.
Christmas eve was amazing. Ben and Kim hosted. I seriously don't know how they do all they do! They have 5 kids and they had 30 people over for dinner in Christmas eve. It was a gorgeous ham dinner. I signed up for rolls and desert. I made two gorgeous fruit pizzas. They are one of my favorite traditions but every year Paul says, "why do we do these again?" They take a long time and because they took so long my rolls were not looking good.. In fact, they were in danger of not making it at all. I had a really good plan to make my rolls look like crowns. I had a great recipe. I had it all planned but, I will be honest.. I have never been that great at rolls. I think they only turn out 1 out of 5 times I make them
If I'm really honest with myself and so at the last minute I panicked and Paul, the guy who always saves the day, bought rolls at Albertsons. We put them on cookie trays to heat them up when we got there. As Ben was announcing the food he said "melody's homemade rolls" and I was too embarrassed to say anything and as I choked on the truth the party moved on.. I did not correct him! I didn't mean to lie. I did not mean to claim then as my own but I did not pipe up and say, "Thank you Albertsons" and so... that happened. :)
They had 4 tables set with red tablecloths and Christmas crackers and Martinellis. After dinner we went to the "theater room" to watch funny you tube clips. The we stood to sing the Halleluia Chorus. The Nativity followed. I loved Eirik as Joseph, Joren as a shirtless shepherd and Teig as a Wise Man. He told me later he was embarrassed that the big kids were laughing at him. It has to be hard to be the youngest, but he was so cute!!
When Santa came next my kids eyes all lit up like it was the best thing in the whole world. They sat on his lap and the wonder and delight in their eyes was priceless.
Then there were hugs and kisses and more presents to pass out and many tired children to wrap snug in their beds and visions of sugar plums to plant in their heads.
Uncle Dave came to sleep over and to see what Santa would bring. I made the kids sit so i could comb their hair before running down the stairs and you would think I was making them all drink brussels sprouts or something. The torture! The anticipation was wonderful.
The months and months and months of making endless lists and editing and revising them for hours and hours paid off for Eirik. We did not buy him the deer camera to mount to a tree to monitor your yard that he wanted, or the camo face paint, but I think we covered most everything else, and Santa did the rest. Joren said Eirik got more than him (which was not really true) but I told it was true because he lost some presents for being naughty! He has been SO naughty!!!! He loves his bow and arrow though. This year, once again, all Teig really wanted was the candy. He did really like the slot cars though, and so did I! Juni got a beautiful doll from Grandma Law and I got a Blend Tec, exactly what I wanted. Eirik made me two bracelets, bought me a ring and gave me all his turquoise jewels. Joren gave me an amaryllis he planted at school and he wrapped up things from his room for all his family members.
The boys got so many fun things this year. We just spoiled the crap out of them. This is the first year that everything is not from mom2mom sales and we just had a blast finally getting them some awesome toys. We got a glider, a robot, remote control helicopters, bay blades , hex bugs, bike, bows and arrows, ninja swords, dart guns, games, puzzles, books, night light turtles, movies, spy gear- night vision goggles, walkietalkie watches, sky landers.. and a stomp rocket.. Wow, it was fun to see them get so many things they have been begging for for so long! It is great to be able to make their wishes come true. I feel so grateful!
Christmas night for me as a child was sometimes a letdown because when the day is over, it's over and the magic goes away an it's kind of sad. Tonight we watched White Christmas and then Paul and I snuggled with Eirik on the couch and talked in the glow of the Christmas tree about silly things and memories and wishes and then I made Eirik hot chocolate and stayed up with him until he fell asleep on the couch. I think it will be a very special memory for him. I know it will be for me.
Merry Christmas!

Best Buy

Leaving Best Buy with Paul, Joren said, "Dad I might as well just open my head and pull out my brain and throw it away because after that store my mind is blown!"

Assembly time

I just went to an assembly for Eirik and Joren at their school. Eirik diligently held his nice poster and had all his parts of his poem memorized and spoke loud and clear.
Joren pulled his shirt up over his head the whole time his class was doing their part; like a turtle, and when his group stepped forward for their part, he could not see, so he did not step forward. When they were done he sort of walked aimlessly for a minute and then say down appearing oblivious to what was happening around him. Hmmmm....

Sick day:

This morning Eirik got out of school by saying this: "It feels like a thousand tiger claws ripping up my throat. It feels like the upper half of my head is fiery red hot with an ear splitting headache and any sound will make my head practically fall off. My stomach feels like any more food with quickly make me barf and I am going to hurl at any second!"

Joren is 6!

Joren, our sweet, wild red head is already turning 6! Yesterday we took him and the other boys to the Clackamas aquatic center for his birthday. He loves to swim. He invited one friend named Izzy to come with us. I'm glad I was watching him attentively because at his first chance he took off to the deep end of the wave pool alone. I followed right behind him without him seeing me and when he got really deep and started to look worried I was there. He said, "how did you follow me?" I told him "I'm your mom, I'm always here for you." he put his arms around me and said "I love you more than the universe". We enjoyed the waves for a while and then Eirik drug me to the slides. At the bottom of this huge waterslide Joren saw us come down and of course wanted to go next. We told him sadly that he was not tall enough and we had already scoped it out to see if they would be lenient for a birthday boy and they would not. He started sobbing giant alligator tears and saying that it was the worst birthday ever. That was the low point. Dad saved the day by challenging Joren to squirt him with his new spy ring. Dad dodging streams of water was really funny and soon everyone was busting up laughing. We had sundaes and then let Joren open presents. We spoiled him this year.
We decided that starting presents a day or two early is the way to go. One present every couple of hours for two days makes it feel like a TON of presents and gives him time to enjoy them before getting overwhelemed with all of them at once. We had Ben and Kim and the kids and Grandma Pat and Grandpa John, My dad and Davy and Michael all come over for dinner on Sunday to celebrate.  I loved having Laws AND Aanderuds at our house at the same time! It was tons of fun. Joren wanted tacos and a Skylanders cake (which I bought from Safeway.. yes I am that kind of mom now. My first store bought cake!) He loved it and I learned from my recent Godzilla cake that I could learn a thing or two about decorating!  Paul and I had fun picking out presents for him. We bought him a little fish that is a hex fish so it's like a little robot that swims in the water. So cool! He got a wooden box homemade by Davy and Michael. I bet he will have that forever. It was a great birthday.
I love our crazy, wild child with a nonconformist mind. He's a little fireball.

Dinovember!

This month the dinosaurs came to life everynight for 2 weeks.

The first night Joren suggested that we call the police because this was really weird. Eirik said, "I can't believe our dinosaurs really came to life!" Teig hid the dinos under his bed every night to make sure they would not get into any more trouble.  I don't know how it happened, but they must have sneeked into our car with us because when we came out of our hotel in Ontario, ID.. there they were trying to start the car. Then at Grandma and Grandpa's house they were playing in the stream outside their house. They were so mischievous!

Thanksgiving Week vacation in Utah

We're driving home from a wonderful Thanksgiving Week vacation in Utah with my family.

What a great week it has been! Some of my favorite memories will be swing dancing with Michael and my mom, Riding a motorcycle by myself, shooting guns, Seeing my brothers in all their motorcycle gear, the gorgeous light and the mountains and staying up late with my mom cooking.  I loved it all.


I love the desert.
I love the hot sun,
the bright blue sky and the smell of the dust.
I love the dry desert plants and the rocks and wide open spaces.
I love the old crumbly buildings and piles of hay and that you can find rusty metal altoid boxes along the side of the road.
I love the black cows in the dry yellow grass and how the mountains can be any color depending in the time of day and lighting
like the stunning deep purple of yesterday.
I feel right at home here and love to be by my family.

Paul took all the boys on long 4 wheeler rides. Joren asked if he could drive. Paul was surprised when he let Joren drive that he was pretty good at it. After that Jake and Eirik got to drive too. They all got to try riding Dave and Tera's little kid motorcycle. Eirik preferred the guns. Joren loved the motorcycle and did a really good job. Even when he crashed he got up and rode again. Paul loved the dirt bikes and shooting guns with my dad. Teig loved playing in the dirt and watching all the action. Juni liked being held the whole time. My mom brought a yummy tail gait picnic of leftover Thanksgiving food to our excursion.

Paul enjoyed seeing our kids play with cousins. Ole Ab Elsie and Zinnia were so nice to our boys. Eirik and Joren slept over and did not want to leave. Ab helped Joren and Eirik build a quiver for each of them.

 We loved a too quick stop in Idaho with our besties Kit and Basil and their adorable girls. They will always be like going home. I so love them.

I enjoyed seeing my wonderful grandparents Bonnie and Stan Williams. Grandma is still sharp as a tack and doing her best to help Grandpa with the things he forgets. Grandpa is a bit confused but still teases me and laughs at my jokes. I love these people.

Eirik got to ride to Utah with my Dad and Davy and Michael. He was so excited to road trip with them that he woke up my Dad at 3:20 am and then at 5:20 and 6:20 until my dad finally got up. They had a great time and riding 13 hours with 3 kids was easier than 4. In fact there wasn't one fight our whole trip. The kids were great!

Soaked cute

Teig started to believe that the word 'so' is really 'soaked' so he's been saying things like, "I'm soaked hungry" and "I'm soaked tired". I just heard him singing to Juni, "and you are soaked cute!"

Best brothers

I just poked my head in my boys room as they were about to go to sleep. I asked if they were telling secrets like best brothers do and they said they were telling who they think is the cutest. Then they listed who the cutest people are. For Eirik it goes: 1. Heavenly Mother 2. Me 3. She-ra the hamster 4. pillow pet 5. Stuffed animals 6. Himself
Jorens list goes 1. Me, 2. himself, 3. little mermaid, 4. Juni 5. She-ra
Isn't that flattering that I'm on the list!
Eirik told me last week that he wished he could ride in a time machine back to when my mom and dad had me and get them
to wait so I would be his age so he could marry me.! I love my little guys!

GOODSKIN DERMATOLOGY- Remodel complete!!

 After over a year of planning, I am happy to announce that our office remodel is finally complete!

 Here is a collage of some before shots:

As you can see, we had a lot of pink and purple everywhere. Every piece of cabinetry in the whole office is a soft rose grey color. We could not change it all, so I did my best to work it in. 

 We chose this color scheme: 

We wanted to play off of natural beauty and to reference the Northwest. 

Paul wanted the office to be warm and comfortable.

Ta Da!

 This is our wonderful team. There is a great vibe in the office and it is a fun place to work! 

Nate Smith is our PA 

 

This is Leah, our aesthetician. She is wonderful. 

We feel so blessed to have been able to achieve this dream. Paul loves his work. It is challenging and new everyday. I am so proud of him!

Christmas preparation:

"I am going to give you a polar bear skull for Christmas. And a polar bear fur and even a baby polar bear. I am going to go catch a baby polar bear wif my net and ven I will bring it back and put it in a big box for you." Teig

Eskimo Joren

I built Joren a Teepee for his birthday last year. Last night Joren decided he was an Eskimo and wanted to sleep on the floor in the teepee.  You know Joren so you know that once he decides something, fighting is going to be a major battle so I told him yes, ONLY if I could make his bed in his teepee for him. He hated it because he wanted to sleep on a towel with no blanket, but he let me put a sheepskin blanket down that is soft enough to be comfortable and give him a brown (animal skin) blanket. I tried his red down blanket, but there weren't geese as far north as he was as an Eskimo and there were no berries growing that far north to dye the fabric red, so it had to be brown. He wanted to sleep naked, but I told him Eskimos live in the cold and needed long johns. He would not wear his black ones, but I finally convinced him to wear his white ones, but they had to be inside out because they have a pattern on them right side out. I crawled in his teepee and sang him a made up eskimo song called noni noni and we talked about the stars over the cold tundra. He told me the story about how his whole village went whale hunting and he used the whale fat to make his teepee waterproof. It was pretty sweet. The kid has an intense imagination and he just comes to life at night. I started calling it the art bug because he gets it as soon as it gets dark or as soon as I say it is bedtime and he gets all kinds of ideas. He did some of the coolest drawings this weekend. I like the weekend nights when I can let him stay up a little later and let him do his thing.

November is already here!

I also got my first pair of rain boots in the mail from amazon. I am officially an Oregonder now.
Tomorrow we are installing and painting the last of our remodel at the office. I think it will go into just one more weekend for final touches but I am so excited to have it finished. It has truly been way more consuming than I expected. I can't wait to post photos. It is looking so beautiful. I am proud that Paul gets to work in such a nice office and by doing tons of the work ourselves we have saved a lot if money.

My parents bought a house in Lake Oswego and I have been designing it as my brothers and a few other contractors remodel it. It is going to take until the first week of dec to finish but I think it is going to be pretty special. I have learned so much on this project to prepare me for many upcoming remodels and hopefully our own house someday. We have been on the search for a house in our ward. We found an AMAZING home across the river with a waterfall and trout pond and barn and shop and chicken coup, but it's not in the ward and not in the school district we moved here to be in. We are still considering it because it is so absolutely dreamy. Plus we are not even qualified for a loan yet. We are hoping to move around march/ April. I just want to be settled for good.

One thing about Michigan is that there are no mom2mon sales. I am going to miss this this Christmas. No more steals for Christmas presents.  EVERYTHING is so much more expensive here. My grocery bill has doubled! I still can't stomach buying enough produce because it is so much more than I am used to spending. I thought I would stop couponing when Paul got a job but I am considering getting back into it, even though it is such a pain.

Eirik discovered the joys of amazon wish list. He is now a very proficient Internet shopper. I know.. The horror.. I mean I just learned how to shop online in the last few years and before then there were way less choices. Now it is so easy to want everything because it's all right there. His wish list included over 200 things at one point. He has narrowed it down quite a bit and it has actually been really handy! When he has earned a reward by some particularly great accomplishment or behavior I have gone to his wish list and just bought something small. It comes in the mail and he is thrilled. I went ahead and paid for amazon prime and I have been using it for everything. I will do all of jorens bday and Christmas on Amazon prime. I am looking forward to the after thanksgiving day sales. Eirik mostly wants outdoor and hunting gear and camouflage stuff. His wish list also includes lots of camo face paint and soap that deep can't smell and other things you would never think of if you weren't a 7 year old boy. Joren wants a parrot and as usual is never happy with what he has for long so I won't invest in anything for him. He had his class start calling him Alex when he moved here and now he wants them to call him Mark. He has very intense, short lived interests. I'm not sure what I will get him. Teig loves toys of all kinds. He is so easy to buy for because he is genuinely pleased with everything. He is all sugar. Juni gets whatever she wants. There are still only 2 girl toys in the house so I plan to spoil her a bit.
I'm so excited for Christmas this year. All my boys believe in Santa and for the first time I feel like we have enough money to not stress about gifts. My intent this year is to see delight and joy on their faces! I can't wait!

Teigs strength

Did you kno I have via reawwy strong fing inside myself? It's cawed a bone. It's right here and it petects me." "that's your rib Teig". "you were right. It was my rib and it makes me reawwy reawwy strong see?" (to show me his strength he lifts up his elbow and makes a scary face and says "see how strong it is!" then he starts elbowing hard objects and pretending it does not hurt him!

Halloween 2013

 This year I let the boys order ninja shoes and new nun-chucks, swords and shirakins for their Halloween costumes. Of course, the night before Halloween, they all decided to be something else besides ninjas. Good thing we have a gazillion costumes and they could pick whatever they wanted. Eirik decided to be a Boy Scout one night and an Army Spy the next. Joren was one of the Fantistic 4 one night an a ninja the next. Tieg was a dinosaur both nights, but he talked a lot about being Wolverine. Poor Juni got to be a cutie with an owl hat. I did not get much more of a costume for her than that, but she was still the cutest ever.  I had fun decorating for Halloween as usual. I just wish i could keep my gourds and ravens up all year.

;)

"I bet you are sick of telling me to do things." Joren

Alex, Mark, Brown Swing

Joren told his teacher his name was Alex. He has written Alex on every paper since the beginning of the year. He tells his classmates to call him Alex, and this week he decided he was Mark. We called him Mark for a few days. Yesterday the principle called me and told me Mark was in the office because he had been running and hitting in the classroom. His teacher emailed me and told me he was melting into the floor like a puddle and would not get up, then at one point was bashing into her with his head, then he hid under her desk and would not come out. Today he sneaked his monkey shaped backpack into his real backpack to school.  It has a tail coming out the back that works as a leash. He wore it around at school and told everyone his name was Brown Swing. When he got home he told me I had to take him on a walk. I told him I would take him if he asked me nicely. On our brisk autumn walk he was barefoot with rolled up pants and no shirt and his monkey backpack. He walked on all fours the whole way and only responded to Brown Swing.  He changes clothes everyday the minute he gets home. Usually he puts on a ninja outfit or camo. His dad bought him new camo pants on Saturday so now he doesn't have to wear his pj's or shorts when he wants camo, so I'm afraid he will live probably in them constantly. He loves tank tops and headbands. Today he screamed at me and told me he was going to dye his hair black and there was nothing I could do about it.  He always tells me what he is going to do instead of asking if he can.  He often tells me what he needs and it's usually outrageous things like a podometer or something. He says it like I'm denying him water. I think he's angry and I don't know why. We started playing band yesterday and he got to be director. He loved it because he got to use his whistle to count us in or make us stop. He loved having people listen to him and having a little power. I think that is the real problem. He wants more choices and more power. He probably feels pretty powerless and I do tell him what to do all the time.

Tor

Tor has gone to live with another family, and it has been an enormous trial for two members of our family.  They miss him tremendously. It is like saying goodbye to a sibling or son who has died they say. It hurts, very bad. It is a gaping hole and a wound I feel I have inflicted. I see their sadness and suffering. I hurt for it too. I wonder if I will ever be truly forgiven and I have been told that I probably wont. I never insisted he go to another home, but I was never able to create an accepting environment for the him. I made it clear daily, even when I committed to be kind and accepting, that I did not want him around. I lived with him and continually felt the guilt of him knowing I was not accepting of him. He is all good, all pure kindness. He was all love and that makes it even worse that I could never be the woman I wanted to be and accept him as part of the family. I am sad for my boys. I am sad that I could not make it work out for everyone. I feel bad that I finally put myself first and asked for what I wanted.  I love my boys and hate to see them sad.  I don't miss Tor's mess or the constant struggle it was to have him. I love that he is in a home where everyone there loves him. I know he would be better off with Paul, his true love and true master. I see the loss in Paul and I hate that it was because of me. I hate that he is sad. Life is much less beautiful when they are sad.

"You can soft me if you want to." (pet) Tieg

Teigs spiritual development

Durrung prayer: "Thanks that Heavenly Father is giant and big to help protect us." Teig
"did you know that Jesus created us? And he wused superglue to glue our heads on and unuver super glue to glue our eyes on and unuver super glue to glue our teeth on and unuver superglue to glue our hair on.....(and on through all the body parts up to glueing our body on). and he made us!"

She-ra Miss Softy Pants -the Hamster

Eirik finally got his long awaited pet hamster. I wanted to wait until Christmas but to tell you the truth, I couldn't listen to his persistent begging anymore. You should have seen all their ecstatic faces!

Joren

I don't want to have kids. They will eat all of my yoghurt.

October 2013

We remodeled Paul's office this weekend. After a year of planning for this, it is finally here!!
Installation about did me in!  I have been really stressed! I have needed help really bad the past two weeks. I have had everyone and their dog help tend my kids. I hired nanny's off the internet and the second counselor in my bishopric even watched them one night. Embarrassing and crazy! I am so excited to finally have it done. It looks really good. Before and after shots are upcoming!
We have one more weekend of hard work on it.

My parents bought a house in Lake Oswego to fix and sell. It was a huge mess and we gutted it down to studs in a lot of places. They hired me to design it and they have let me choose just about every single thing in the whole house. Amazing! It has been a tremendous amount of work to try to do this in a very short time frame on top of the office remodel, relief society and, did I mention I have 4 children and a nursing baby. Am I crazy?! Two of my brothers came from Utah to work here on it. They are living in the house while they work.  It has been really fun to work with my family and to get to see my brothers more.   I am really excited to see this house take shape and see how all of my ideas turn out. I can't believe I get to be the one to choose everything! We agreed on a nice hourly wage, but I told them I don't even care if they pay me. I'm just so excited to see how it all turns out.

I have big, happy and very sad news. Paul gave Tor to a nurse that he works with. It has been 1 1/2 weeks. Eirik cries about every other day. Paul has been really depressed. He is in mourning. It has been very hard for them and since they are in so much pain I feel terrible.  But, secretly, between you and me, I am doing cartwheels every day!

Juni is crawling and will cut her first tooth this week. She is getting more and more gorgeous every day. Her brothers adore her.

It's been great to see my family more, but I need to start to learn to say no. I am really loosing my hair. I mean handfulls of it. I have been too stressed and not sleeping. Juni has kept me up a lot lately and I am just running nonstop during the days. I can't keep up. I have to slow it down. Eirik told me that he feels like I care more about Dad's office and Grandpas house than him. It's not fair to my kids. It's hard for me. I'm too selfish. I want to work, and I just can't do anymore. I have to stop. I'm sad, but I just can't do it. No more projects once these are done! (you should see the wreck of my house!) I spent hours today picking up the house after last weeks whirlwind of babysitters and late nights working. 

The office is making money and I think Paul is happy at work. He had to let a couple of people go, but he has hired a few new people that are working out great. He has been sad at the anniversary of his dad's death Oct. 4th and loosing Tor. It's been a rough month for him, and seminary every morning is a challenge, but we are pushing through. He is such a good man.

Eirik is in Tae Kwon Do and moved up his first belt rank last weekend. Uncle Michael was in town to come watch. Eirik was really proud. It was a fun celebration and Eirik loves breaking his boards and getting trophies!

Joren has the most amazing kindergarten teacher. I mean, I am so impressed I absolutly can't say how fantastic she is. She brought me to tears at parent teacher conference talking about how much she loves our Joren and how she can see him down the road winning awards for his movies or books or whatever he does. She recognizes how creative he is and how deep he goes in his thinking and imagination. She made me fall in love with my Joren all over again. Her compassion and enthusiasm for teaching and children put me to shame and opened my eyes and made me excited to be better. What a great woman!

Teig is sugar. He is gorgeous! His little bottom lip is so sweet. He says the most astute and comprehensive things. His ability to express, explain and rationalize is way beyond a typical 3 year old. He really understands things. He is highly intelligent. He is rough and tumble, unafraid of anything, keeps up with his brothers even when they do things 3 year olds should never do. He misses them when they go off to school and cries hard if he does not get to say goodbye to them before they leave. He works hard playing by himself when they are gone and can entertain himself for hours. He loves his dinosaurs. He loves cars. He loves learning shows on TV. He is not demanding. He is kind and compassionate. I am continuously impressed by him.  I am so lucky to be his mom.

Paralyzed

I feel absolutely paralyzed today. I have so much on my plate right now that I feel like I'm spinning in circles with constant distractions and never getting anything done. My anxiety is so high and while I feel a complete mess inside all I can do is whirl around trying to put out the most urgent fires all around me. I get something done just to have it immediately undone again.

I did something really dumb. My dad bought a house in Lake Oswego. Its a fixer upper that needed to be gutted and redone. My dad, I think forgot that I do interior design, and remembered at the very last minute as he flew into town and asked me to go with him that day to check out the house. When I got there I found out that I was hired to do all the design work for the entire house and I needed to start immediately because my brother and another guy were coming from Utah to start work in one day. Say what?! Are you kidding. How could i possibly say no? (It's like my own design star challenge but bigger!) Wait.. You want me to redraw a floor plan, design the whole kitchen, bathrooms, choose all the fixtures, lights, finishes, interior and exterior in a few days and take care of 4 kids and finish remodeling our office space. Which, by the way, I just told our general contracted that his price was too high and I would be the general contracted myself! So for that project I am trying to hire all the subcontractors by Friday and get approval on all the work from our landlord so we are eligible for the tenant improvement money. And i have to purchase all the flooring, which i just learned has been discontinued, and I have to stay under budget for both projects. Did I mention I have 4 kids and a baby that woke up 3 times last night and two kids that still have accidents and 3 boys that make constant messes and visiting teaching appointments that I have had to reschedule 4 times because people keep forgetting or changing their minds and a calling I am so far bombing because I have been unavailable. Did I mention that I have white carpet through my whole house and a dog that sheds everywhere and a house so big that we have no furniture for it and no matter what I do I can't make it feel like my home ( or clean!) I don't feel like I live here yet so amidst all of this I found myself talking to a realtor about a fixer upper house I just passed on the street on the way to visit teach the girl that stood me up. Is my scattered inside reflecting in this crazy article. I know Paul is not happy that I took the job with my dad. I know I should have said no. The guy here that is working with my dad is really happy with the drawings I have done and in his excitement he said. "this is just the first of many Melody."While that thrills me to pieces because this is absolutely a dream job for me, it also terrifies me because how can I really do it without sending my sweeties to daycare? And how can I do daycare while I am still nursing? And if I turn down the next house then the team will get used to working with a different designer and I will miss my chance to design homes from the studs out. How amazing is that!! I am just driven over by constant guilt and an inability to do what I want because I always try to do what I should. I am angry that I want to design so badly. If I am at home in my house that does not feel like mine my design brain can never rest! Never. I am always, even in my sleep trying to fix what is "broken". If I am working, I am too busy to be obsessed over what I can't fix in a rental. I have said it a million times and never found a solution. I wish I could turn it off. I wish I could sit peacefully and Exist without yearning to be fixing and create things. I try to keep it hidden from people so they dont know how nuts I am, but Paul knows. He does not know what to do with me. And I know that I am obsessed and my kids suffer. Where is the switch that lets me turn on to be a happy, laid back, funny, dog loving, soccer mom that just likes to have fun. Wouldn't that be so much easier? That would sure make all my family happier. Why do I have to be all deadlines and healthy and organized and artistic? Why do I have to be all rules and morals and bedtimes and green drinks? Boring! My kids dont enjoy me. There is nothing stopping me from being cool except me. I am just me and I don't fit in my life. I don't fit in my life.

Mom fail

This is what dinner looked like at my house tonight.
I made lime quinois, lemon chicken with onions, fresh tomatoes and corn. It was delicious and I enjoyed it by myself because as soon as Eirik saw it he said"why are you even bothering?" and the other two fled and would not come back. I'm sure at 10:00 they will be raiding the fridge for yoghurt and granola bars or bread with jam. I should just serve that every night but I just can't eat kid food every night. I just can't. Am I just totally selfish?

Hamster Mayham

We still have lots of sun and good weather here.
School started and the kids really like their classes. I have enjoyed having a little more time!
I have used the time to get bills paid, summer paperwork and tasks finished and things ordered for the new office.  Teig has had to play by himself a lot, but he's been pretty good about it.  Joren has an exceptional teacher who emails me personal notes about him often. I am very impressed.
Paul teaches his first day of seminary tomorrow. We had a bbq at our friend's, the Russells, house yesterday for all of the seminary age kids. It was a group of over 45 kids. Paul dressed up like Nephi to give his little pep talk to get them excited to come to seminary. He was great. The Russells sent us home with a tiny tiny tree frog that they found in their yard so we went to "Critter Cabana" last night and bought a cage and some wingless fruit flies to keep him. Joren named him Leaf. Everyone is happy about him except for Eirik. Two weeks ago the Russells took Eirik to critter cabana and he saw a dwarf russian hamster I have not heard the end of how desperately he needs a hamster.  I wish I could say that I am a nice enough mom that I could have three pets including a dog that I can't stand, and a tiny biting, stinky rodent, but I am not.  I have told him no and you would think it is the end of the world. You know how Eirik won't ever drop anything. He has tried every tactic from sugar sweet, to buying his own, to promises and perfect behavior (for a few minutes) to threats and crying and whining. to be honest, the whining is winning out and I've about had it.I always like to give my children what they want. I am a huge pleaser and hate to see them unhappy, but I just can't see me taking care of a hamster now when I absolutely can't keep up with the responsibilities I already have. I have a huge shedding dog and a house full of white carpet. I am set up to fail no matter what I do in this house. The kids are super unhelpful and hateful. I can't win. Joren is screaming at me right now and telling me that he hates me and that I am so stupid because I told him I am not going to buy him a new lamp.  He just said, "you're buying me that, or I am killing you because I know where dad's dagger is. Mom, you're the worst mom in the universe. You're so stupid. I hate you and I will kill you if you don't buy me that lamp. I'm serious about this, if you don't buy me that lamp. It's only $10. Mom, you have to buy me that, or I will kill you." 
I just love my Joren.

Paul is singing in church today. He is singing a quartet with a guy who is a professional opera singer, a guy who travels around the country winning karaoke contests and another guy who has been in professional choirs his whole life. One if them is our home teacher and Paul mentioned how he wanted to sing "Brightly beams our father's mercy" with a quartet and the next thing you know they made it happen. I can't wait to hear it. Paul says they sound like a barber shop quartet.

"You have your hands full!"

If I had a dollar for every time someone told me I have my hands full, this summer, I would be taking myself to a fancy restaurant tonight.
A good example happened this morning when I had to carry Juni back from the bustop with two giant umbrellas my boys had insisted on taking and then don't know how to close. Juni was slipping out of my arms, we were getting soaked and just then Teig ran out of the house and across the street naked.  Nice mom moment. 
Usually when someone says I have my hands full I can smile and say, "aren't they great."  Sometimes I can laugh about the situation.  Sometimes I want to round house that judging, insensitive observer and sometimes I just want to disappear. Any way around it, I wish they wouldn't say that.

Meteoric Rise

Neil Swanson is a very accomplished Dermatologist and Mohs surgeon.  He is the former chair of the dermatology dept at OHSU and he has written many dermatology books that Paul uses. Paul was excited to get to go to a drug rep dinner last week and meet Dr. Swanson there. It turned out that it was only the drug rep, who is our neighbor, and Dr. Swanson. They really hit it off and Paul had a great time.  After the dinner the drug rep told Paul that Dr. Swanson had been impressed with Paul and that he had said we he was excited to watch Paul's "meteoric rise". 
Purchasing this practice has been an interesting emotional roller coaster for Paul. It is a huge challenge and exhilarating. His predictions are all working out to be right on, and the business is making money. Paul is not content though. As soon as one thing is working, his mind is already working on the next. He wants to open more locations, hire more docs and more PAs and continue to grow. He gets bored way too easy. He has to have a challenge to be content. 

Letting go..

"Thanks for not telling me what to eat. It tastes much better without you yelling at me."

Teig's thoughts on moving:

As I put Teig to bed in our guest room last night, I interviewed Teig to see how he is doing with the move. He said. "I wiv in Oregon now. We moved from MI. Our old house is broken , but we didn't cry.
Josh is in Michigan. He is way far away, buy he can drive way miles an hour to our Oregon house to be our friend again. This is Josh Seager's bed."
Apparently Josh made a big impression on Teig. He also misses Sammy and Tyler and Nickolas and Alexander. I miss them
too.

Alex

Joren has changed his name to Alex.he told his Kindergarten teacher that his real name is Alex. She emailed me to ask if it was ok to have his classmates call him Alex.  I told her he would probably change his name 16 more times this year so she better stick to Joren. She got a kick out of his creativity.  I'm so glad he has a great teacher. She could have just told all the kids his name was Alex and now I would be stuck with an Alex!  (not that Alex is a bad name of course.)

Funny friday

"If I had known Joren was so easily hypnotized, I would have eaten more of his ice cream." Eirik

Angels attending

Right before our last flight out of MI, I asked a few of my fiends in passing to say a prayer for me and our three young children in our travels. I used to stress out flying with one baby and I knew flying with three was not going to be a breeze. We spent the last night in MI at the Berwalds house as our house was empty. They were really nice and let us use their guest suite. Kevin dropped us off at the airport and we promised to keep in touch and invited them to the beach house any time they want. When I got to the counter they had trouble checking me in. After a few minutes we realized that my flight had left an hour earlier. "How could it be?" I thought! With something this important, don't you take extra precautions to make sure everything is perfect? Don't you check and recheck flight times?? Well somehow I must have entered my flight time wrong in my phone. How this happened I have no idea but I was astounded to learn that I would be able to try to fly standby on two flights that, if I could board, I would be able to get home just a few hours later. The chances weren't good. They were both full flights and I had 4 people. For one moment I was upset. I said "Heavenly Father, after so many prayers, why couldn't you have just prompted me to look one more time at my tickets??" then I knew that it was not His fault, it was mine and there was only myself to blame and I said a prayer that he would help me get through the day. My typical panic gave way to reassurance and I knew that no matter what happened, that at some point I would get there and that the timing was not really all that important. I consider it a miracle that we were able to board both flights and arrive in Utah before dark. It was a long day and the children were very good but very tired. As we disembarked I saw a woman turn around and walk back down the gangplank to ask me if she could assist me out to baggage claim. I gladly accepted her kind offer. On our walk I learned that her husband was a stake president and he had taught seminary for years. She had been a stake relief society president. They were the Pendletons. They were so nice and helpful and waited with me until we had our baggage and a place to sit and wait for my parents to arrive. When I turned on my phone I had a text message from Jen Cranney. She said, I prayed that angels would attend you today. I am sure Heavely Father inspired Sister Pendleton to be my angel and I am sure she was not my only assistance. God is always with us. Of this I am sure.

Law family reunion

Although my awesome parents came out to help us move in mid July, they were willing to make the trip out again just one month later for a family reunion. Yes, they must really like us. Katie and Danny drive all the way from Tempe AZ, and Tera and Dave and Andrew drove in another car and Michael and Daniel took the long scenic route through California and met up with us a few days in. Adam and Amy’s family decided to wait until they were recovered from last years trip to California with 4 kids and the flu. Sometimes it takes a few years to forget experiences like that and I don't blame them a bit for not coming, although I hope they will be up for the next reunion here in Oregon. Parents and Katie and Danny got here early in the week and we tried to show them a good time at our new pad and in our new town. We took them on a hike and to Bridgeport for dinner and to Mary S. Young park and my mom and I had a blast as the Street of Dreams! Everyone got to see Pauls new office and the girls all got to go thrift shopping where we all found some great treasures, and then swimming with the kids.
Wednesday we made the gorgeous drive to the beach. I loved driving with my mom and reading together. Eirik and Joren loved riding in grandpas truck listening to Phineus and Ferb songs until Grandpa had had enough of Phineus and Ferb! :)
Of course we stopped at the cheese factory for ice cream and there we got to meet up with the brothers. Oh how I love my brothers! They are all so special and great. Seeing them makes me feel like I make so much more sense. I can tell a lot of time has passed where we have not been a part of each others lives enough because we dont know each other as well anymore, but I look forward to changing that now that we are closer!
After the cheese factory we went to the blue heron to see animals and we all enjoyed the samples in the gift shop. Mom couldn't pass up the jalapeño jelly which is always her favorite, and she also splurged on some Oregon marionberry syrup for our pancake breakfast the next morning. We loved getting right up close to the long haired, long horned yacks or steers, whatever they are, they are majestic and poweful and extraordinary; definitely one of my favorite animals.
Michael made us all laugh doing funny dances. It was just like when we were kids. From there we went to the beach house and everyone was excited to get down to the water. Dad took some golf clubs down to hit some balls. We made lots of designs in the sand and Katie and I enjoyed dancing barefoot making designs. The boys splashed in the water send we all had a wonderful time.
The next day we went to the surf beach and spent hours exploring. The hike up and back was gorgeous. I loved sharing this tradition with my family. In Cannon beach we ate fish and chips and then Katie, Davy, Tera, Juni and I went to galleries for a few hours. I felt pretty spoiled to get to go with no kids for the second time this year! Oh how I love Michael Orwicks paintings in the Dragonfire Gallery! I could sit there looking at them for hours. Instead we went home and ate Danny’s Shephard’s pie (one pan vegan, and one with Tri tip steak). He worked all afternoon on it and it was delicious! And then I did a painting of my own! Having Katie there sewing and my mom there for moral support gave me the courage I needed to paint again. It was very fulfilling and so fun! I woke up so refreshed after painting until 2 AM and then nursing Juni two times before 8. It sounds sarcastic but painting was energizing and it was really helpful to have my mom there. I wish we could paint together all the time.
In the morning my family all surprised me tremendously when almost everyone of them wanted to join me for a morning yoga session! I could not believe it. I had a fabulous time leading yoga for all my siblings and parents. It's been too long since I practiced and it felt great.
We took the crab pots to Garibaldi tot he docks and threw them in. Dad volunteered to stay while we explored the town a bit. We went to some antique stores and thrift shops and took the kids to a Maritime museum to dress up in colonial clothes and see tons of antique guns and ship parts. They liked that. We caught three crabs but they were all too small so Paul drive up in his big truck and threw the kids in the back and went to buy 12 crabs which we took home and steamed up for a great big crab meal. Tara made vegan pepperoni pizza with the pepperoni made from beets! It was delicious! That night we had a campfire. Katie and I figured out that we can sing and sound like the exact same voice. It was astonishing to me how identical we sound! We all shared vacation memories for hours. Someone should have been writing them down. We laughed and laughed. I missed Amy a lot then.

In the morning we packed up and went to Saturdays Market and experienced how Portland is "keeping it wierd" and then waited in a tremendously long line at Salt and Straw for Marrionberry with balsamic vinegar and black pepper ice cream. Tara got ice cream with habanero peppers and Paul ordered olive oil ice cream. They give lots of samples. Different and delicious.

I did two paintings and three yoga sessions and stayed up late hanging out. Everyone helped a lot with the kids and I only had to cook a few meals but I got to eat a lot if great food. It was a wonderful time! I hated to say goodbye to my family and I am so glad they are now in driving distance!
Thank you all for driving here!! Love you!