"That's why they call me the feeling better kid."

May 29th

At church we talked about the priesthood blessings that we miss out on if we don't partake. There was a man who saved up for a vacation on a cruise ship. He saw all the other people eating all the buffet items and thought, "I can't afford that rich food." so he ate cans of beans in his room. At the end of the end of the cruise he learned that all the food was included in the price of the cruise and realized he had been missing out. Are we missing out of blessings already available to us? It was a great lesson. I hope I can think of the right questions for my lesson I am giving next week. So far I feel uninspired and unprepared. In sacrament meeting we had a talk on modesty. We learned that modesty is showing respect for people around us. That tells me that I shouldn't wear my skinny jeans around people that are uncomfortable about their weight. It says that I shouldn't dress my best around people that don't have much money. It says that I should be simple in my dress and not flaunt anything. That is simply being considerate, but it is also pleasing to the Lord. Otherwise it shows vanity, which I am fully guilty of. I definitely need to work on my respect for others and my vanity. Anona is such a great example. Such a pure heart. I hope to be more like her.

I tried not to, but I stressed out about getting the house clean for company. I know they don't care if the house is not spotless, but I do. I have been so full of anxiety letting my baby crawl on a dirty floor and with Tor it is such a big job to keep it clean. I just have to carve out more time at night to sweep and mop more often. I cleaned until I was dead tired last night. It is so nice to have a clean house today. It only lasts a day, but I made Paul keep Tor out most of the day so I could enjoy at least one day of it.
Speaking of Tor, Patty told Paul today that the spirit was telling her that she needed to tell him to get rid of the Tor. She told him that there was nothing more important that she could tell him than to stop being selfish and get rid of him. I don't think Paul can do it and I told him we are not getting rid of him until/ and if he decides it is right for him. Tor does make life way harder for me, but, I'm glad Paul is getting to have his dream come true. We sacrifice for each other and Paul sacrifices a lot for us too. I feel so blessed that he is in my life and that I am the benefactor of all the cool things about him. He is so good to me. In sacrament he leaned over and told me that when he prays he asks how he can make me happy. That was sweet. He does a lot of things to make me happy. One of those things is letting me go buy a bunch of new clothes and he is happy for me and does not complain, in fact he encourages it. I never dreamed I would have so many cool clothes. I love my clothes right now and I love Paul. I don't like Tor, but I love Paul. :)

I know all temporal things are temporary and that we should not put our treasures on our things, still I hope my boys don't break my green or yellow lamp, or put holes in my new favorite baby blankets like the quilt I made or the one Jena gave me. I hope Tor does not chew anymore furniture or my new sketchers. I hope our cars don't break. I hope Joren does not destroy my tablecloth or my computer or the pillows I made. I hope my blog books will be alright and that my white owls won't get broken or my new cheese plate. I hope my orange couch will not be permanently ruined by Tor sitting on it all the time. I do have too many treasures I think sometimes. If I have to worry about them that much, should I get rid of them so that I don't feel so protective and set on them? I love my treasures, and I hope I get to live with them for a long time. Is that bad?

Paul and I told the kids about Memorial day tonight and I showed them pictures of normandy and some other veteran's memorials. We told them that Grandpa Rallison served in WWII. Eirik asked, "Is that what our country is all about; helping people?" I said, "you got it!" I love our country and our freedom. I'm grateful for all those people who have given their lives for the freedom and prosperity that I enjoy today. I feel so indebted and blessed. I want to show them tomorrow. What should I do?

I've been sick and I was rubbing my temples tonight. Joren asked, "why are you so frustrated mom?" I said, "I'm not frustrated, my head just hurts." He said, "I will kiss you better." I said, "that feels better already." He said, "That's why they call me the feeling better kid." He's a sweet kid. He's still awake at 10:30, but he's a sweet, sweet kid.