Utah in August

Pure perfect joy.

Kindergarden Begins, First Day of Preschool and Quadraped Graduation

 It was a day of firsts.

Eirik
I took Eirik for his first day of Kindergarten.  I've been so excited for him because I think he will love it so much, but a few weeks ago I asked my friend Anona if she was excited for school to start and she said no.  She said, "they are such long days and I miss my kids.  I love having them home over the summer."  To that, I felt bad since I had been so eagerly awaiting this day.  I learned from her to savor, even more, the last few weeks I had with Eirik home every day with me.  Eirik was brave and confident going in and had a great time showing Mrs. Biro his journal he made over the summer, but when it was time for me to say goodbye, he got a little nervous.  It was kind of a hard break and he hugged me so hard he knocked me over on the ground.  Eventually he was ready for me to go.  I was anxious all day.  Would he like his teacher?  Would he like his classmates?  Would he like his lunch?  Would he cry?  I picked him up in the afternoon in the classroom.  Why was I the first to drop him off and the first to pick him up?  Am I overprotective?  I was too nervous to have him ride the bus the first day so I picked him up.  He was so excited and said, "Kindergarten rocks!"  At recess he was running laps with his class and one of the kids skinned his knee.  Eirik was in the lead and was about to win, but he thought about that kid who got hurt and Eirik said he left the race and put his arm on the kids back and told him it was going to be ok.  He walked with him and asked him if he wanted to play with him.  Eirik told me that he learned a lesson that it is better to help someone than to win.  He did not touch his fruits and vegies in his lunch, but I still could not be more proud of my all in black ninja warrior kindergartener.  Does he really have to go ALL day tomorrow too?  This is going to take some getting used to.

Eirik with friend Zach from Tae Kwon Do class

Joren

I took Joren to have his first meeting with Mrs. Tobias, his preschool teacher.  She is wonderful.  Eirik had her last year.  It was so fun to watch Joren act like a big boy.  He looked so grown up holding his pencil and writing little scribbles on the line for his name.  He told her, "I can't write J.O.R.E.N." And she told him whatever he wrote was great, so he made marks across the page.  At one point he said a sentence with the word "little" in it which he still says as yittle.  Mrs. Tobias and I looked at each other with the "that is too cute for words face" and we had a little moment enjoying his adorableness.  On the way home he said "I am going to high school.  I am going to graduate.  Don't I talk grown up mom?"
His ice making is getting out of hand. Now he is making it in plastic bags with twist ties.  There is ALWAYS water all over the floor in the kitchen and my dishes are everywhere.  I do believe this stage too will pass and I will remember his ice making days with fondness.

Teig

 Today Teig began to walk.  He has been taking steps and then falling into things until today, but today he decided he was ready and was cruising around the house.  Wow, he is not a crawler anymore.  Overnight, now he walks.  He was proud of himself and so excited.  His happy face is such a delight.  He is a great eater.  He was so happy to see his brothers again after being away for a few days.  He loves me and wants me in sight all the time.  I love him back!

 

Summer gifts

It's good to be alive!

"Hi my name is Joren.  I can't believe I can walk out here barefoot. It's good to be alive!"
"Flies all have allergies made of gold.  When you smack the flies, the allergies will bite you really hard."

Today Eirik told me he hates me because I would not let him disassemble the stair railing so he could use it for a staff.  He's right, I am SO mean.

Help from above

Today in sacrament meeting the kids were all over us and being crazy as usual.  We came in late and had to sit 3 rows from the front.  This is typical although usually we are a little closer to on time.  Usually sacrament meeting is terribly stressful and my boys drive me crazy, but today Paul looked at me and said, "I HATE THIS!" and I realized that I had been smiling since we got there and that everything around me was making me snicker.  When this realization hit me I was puzzled.  What was different?  Why did I suddenly not care what anyone thought of my crazy boys or what bad parents we must be?  Why was I biting my lip to not laugh out loud at Eirik trying to tickle me while the high councilmen talked right in front of me?  Was I being irreverent?  After church I had a LONG meeting to stay for and when I got home Paul has his usual comment about how long I had been gone etc and did I get offended or frustrated like usual?  No, I laughed.  Then I took my boys on a long bike ride/ walk which is usually quite excruciating because they are ridiculously slow and love to complain and cry the whole time, but today was fun.  We all had a good time and we were gone for over 2 hours.  I did not get frustrated once.  What is going on with me!?  I have to say that yesterday I was really down.  I offered a sincere prayer for help to be happy in my situation and I just have to say that I think I had a lot of help today with that.  I was really sincerely happy and my kids were unusually nice, and despite their totally expected boyish behavior in sacrament meeting, they were so good.  Eirik went out of his way to help and smile and encourage his brother and compliment and use great manners.  He charmed the pants off of this first grade teacher that we met in the parking lot at his new school where we were playing.  She said that all the teachers were going to fight over him.  He told her that over the summer he had been trying to earn scars on his knees by picking his scabs down to the blood.  He told her his address and phone number and had to tell her in her ear that he sometimes called his dad "Polly pocket."  She was delighted by him.  Joren was so cute on his bike tonight head bent down over his handlebars in concentration, lighting helmet and flame sunglasses down over his mouth.  He wore his cheesy cowboy shirt that I love.  Yes, I was wishing I had my camera again.  We had a picnic of water and dried cranberries under a willow tree and the boys thought it was really dreamy.  They said, "our dreams are coming true mom."
I love these guys.

Bird Suit

I found this cute children's book called, "When I am Big" and the little boy insists that when he is big he will wear a bath robe and a bird suit every day instead of pants and a sweater.  Joren really likes the book and thinks a bird suit would be pretty great.  I had to laugh today when he came upstairs in star wars pajama bottoms, a war painted bare chest, earmuffs in the shapes of cats with whiskers and a very long rope tied around his waist as a belt trailing down the stairs.  To him it was perfectly normal; cool even.  When I ask Joren to do things he says, "not right now" or "no thanks".  He has this way of getting away with doing bad things that other kids could never pull off because he acts like it is so normal and like he was so compelled to do something in a totally non-malicious way that he could just not stop himself.  I still can't quite figure out why it is so easy to forgive him so quickly.  He has started a new habit of saying "sorry mom" like the minute I walk in the room because there is typically something immediate that he needs to be sorry for and he's just covering his bases.  He cracks me up! The kid just HAS to break the rules and his ears don't work, or he is very very good at ignoring me, of course, non-maliciously.  His big thing right now is taking cups and bowls of water everywhere in the house.  He still uses all the toilet paper and then I'll realize he did not even wipe! What was he doing with all that paper?! Again!!?!  He says the oddest things and yet he is starting to make more and more sense now that he is growing up so darn fast.  He's starting preschool.  I can't believe it.  Last night he had a nighmare that I was attacked by a flying robot spider.  He woke up screaming in terror: "my muver!!" and crying.  I held him and rocked him and he told me how scary it was over an over again.  We went downstairs and watched a show while we snuggled in the middle of the night.

Since I mentioned school, now is a good time for me to tell the ridiculous story about how I let my parents book me a ticket to come to Utah and MISS my son's first day of kindergarten!  I cried last night as I paid an exorbitant fee to change the ticket so that I will be here to see him get on the bus in the morning.  I mean, he won't even BE HERE for the day.  He will be at school, but I could not let Paul send him off without me to his first day of school.  He keeps telling me how nervous he is, but I think I am more nervous than he is.  I know he will love it and I have been saying for weeks how I can't wait until school starts so Eirik will be entertained by someone else, but now that it is 18 days away I am sad.  I do love having him home and I don't know what it is like to have him gone for 8 hours a day but I know I am going to miss him!  Joren will miss him too.  Joren calls himself Eirik's minion.  He follows Eirik everywhere and never lets him boss him around, but always entertains Eirik's ideas.  Our summer has been very special.  I love our home.  These will be really sweet memories.  The summer of three little boys.  I feel NATSUKASHI- a state of feeling nostalgic, a fond sadness for the passing of seasons or time.  I know we will only be here for 1 year and 9 more months and I want to treasure every day.  Today we had 2 very special gifts in the yard.  We have a new resident frog in our pond who sits on the rocks and watches us every day as we play on our new play structure.  And, I have a blooming volunteer sunflower in my garden.  Since I planted about 18 at two different times and tried everything I could to keep the animals out and they were still all eaten I feel  like it is a special gift that some random seed from who knows where made it into my yard and made it past the animals and got far enough to bloom.  It is beautiful and for some reason makes me feel alive and well and deeply connected.  I used to say that I think I helped design sunflowers in heaven.  That's silly, but they are my favorite and a blooming sunflower is truly a special sight.  I loved the fields and fields of sunflowers I sped past on the TGV when I was 16.  They were on the first love letter I received.  I loved the sunflowers my mom planted in our front yard in Aurora.  (Did she do that for me?)  And I loved that Paul brought sunflowers when Teig was born.  Today Eirik told me that after we move in two years, Dad, and the boys were going to make a special surprise for me.  They are going to plant lots of sunflowers in our yard for me.  Isn't that sweet!  He is so special how he thinks of the best gifts.  I am working on a painting that a woman in England ordered. It's a commission.  This morning Eirik prayed that I would become and even better painter "even though that is impossible since I am already the best painter in the world."  And tonight he prayed that I would make the lady in England happy with the castle painting I am doing for her.  I can't believe that a 5 year old would even think of that.  He is really pretty special.  
Teig can climb all the way up our slides and slide down them with no help.  He seems way to young to be able to do that!  He is growing up so fast.   He's getting some attitude too, and he's not very happy that we are starting to drink just from bottles, but it has to happen sometime.  He's a big explorer. He loves to get dirty and wet and always finds Jorens cups of water wherever Joren has left them and spills them on himself.  Hey, my floors are cleaner.  :)  

I canned tomato soup this week.  A lady at the store crossed me with a Catholic cross and said "bless you for canning tomatoes."  At 12.99 a bushel, how can you not!?  I love having tomatoes everywhere and chopping vegies for hours.  There isn't much I love more than that.  

This week we put on a "Speed Friendship" Relief Society mid week visiting teaching meeting.  We sat across from each other and got to talk for 2 minutes until the bell rings and then one side of the table moves down.  Then we each exchanged a small gift that tells something about yourself.  I brought 3 kinds of basil and some lemon thyme from my garden.  I told how it has been such a blessing to watch the symphony of this garden unfold this growing season.  As soon as one type of flower is dying another bursts into life and every week there is a new surprise opening.  I said that the more time I spend gardening the more I learn about our Heavenly Father.  Any creature that we take into our stewardship, including plants allows us to experience a bit of the love God has for us.  Sometimes I feel like the plants are asking, "am I fulfilling the measure of my creation?  Am I bringing you joy?"  It is a miracle that anything grows at all, and a great miracle that things are growing in bounty in my yard.  I feel so blessed.  After we exchanged gifts, we had some sisters share visiting teaching experiences and then I bore my testimony.  I had several sisters volunteer to take on more names of inactive sisters and several sisters committed to do their visiting teaching who have never done it before.  It was a wonderful night and the spirit was very strong.    It was a great success! 

Joren 3 yrs. 9 mo.

Joren's latest endeavor is to fill every cup and bowl in the house with water or ice and place them strategically on the edge of every counter in the house.  He is so funny.  He is really proud of his new found ice making skills.  He is constantly checking on his ice in the freezer.
Last night as I struggled to get him to go to bed at 11:00 he said,
"What am I going to do with you?  You are driving me nuts because you disobey me. I know everything about you.  I'm a teenager.  I'm nine. I just turned nine.  I am way stronger than an hawk.  I'm smarter than you. I know I am supposed to be in bed mom.  I'm so sorry, but I promise I will never ever ever get out of bed ever again.  and when I make a promise, I never ever break that promise.  I wuv you so much mom.  I wuv you more than this whole house.  I am great and I am stronger than anything."
 2 minutes later he got stuck between the mattress and the bed as he tried to sneak out of bed.

Power of prayer

My friend Tanya had to take her baby to a different state this week to have a very painful and difficult surgery done on his tongue.  Because of the surgery he would have to be force fed in a way that seemed as if the baby were choking or constantly gagging.  They expected the process to be excruciating and they prepared for the worst.  She bore testimony to me today that she believed that it was because of their diligence in prayer and because of so many other people praying for them that the process went extremely well and they were able to go through the ordeal without the trauma that they anticipated.  Even the hospital staff commented on how calm they were and how remarkable the baby did. Tanya said it felt as if they were led by the hand and given the comfort they needed to proceed with the painful steps with the assurance that all would go well.  I felt the spirit as she told her story and I learned more about the power of prayer. 

John Clifford

Tonight Patty married a new grandfather for our children.  In 10 years he will be the grandpa that they know and remember.  It is surreal, horrific, unbearable, sweet, and devastating all at the same time.  Paul went to Oregon and met John for the first time today.  I could not go.  I wish I could be there to support Paul on this hard occasion.  My heart aches for Paul and for me and for all of the siblings.  My heart also aches for Patty and for the agony she has been through in the past year.  Today, Patty seems happy.  My distance grieving has not come around to healing and allowing change while Patty's daily suffering has encouraged a quicker recovery.  Even today I feel as if I am symbolically at Patty's feet learning from her.  All of her children and her sisters are angry or disappointed, and upset that she would marry again so quickly.  They say it is disrespectful of Steve.  They say he would be so angry.  Maybe they are all correct.  For some reason, I have to be the one that stands up for her and says, "go for it, take a stab at a new chapter of potential, climb up out of the agony and heal with someone else who is going through similar pain."  I believe Patty is emotionally equipped and deeply strong.  I believe she is a fighter and will make this work despite not knowing him long, despite the opposition from family that she has faced and despite the monumental task of each standing in someone else's shoes that they never wanted empty in the first place.  I wish them love, which seems a blistering wish when taken in context.  My love for Steve is heavy and very present even if reminders of him have been moved to the corners of his former home.  His picture hangs above our bed.  I see his smile before I go to sleep.  I think of his wonderful example and know he paved a beautiful path for my husband and my boys to follow.  I thank him, I miss him, I love him.  I know Patty does too and I hope we will all be able to somehow accept John and make room for him in our lives.  I don't know when, but I hope we will come to love him.  

I can't believe how lucky I am!

Not only did I get to have Kasey and her kids come to stay for a few days this week, but on one of the nights, Ashley and her family and Katherine and her family also came over for dinner! Kasey did not know the Ashley and Katherine very well so I love it when some of my very favorite people in the world get to meet. It was a treat. The kids got along so well and the adults had a blast. Katherine always makes me laugh so hard and she is so genuine and complimentary. Ashley is so smart and remembers everything. She is great at movie quotes and reminding us of funny things we have done together. I really relate with Justin. He is thrifty and smart and conservative and a peacemaker. He is such a great example of a nurturing, concerned father. I love spending time with him. Bobby is so cool. He's handsome, buff and likes muscle cars and collecting cool vintage things. And I love his relationship with Katherine. They have such a romantic love story. And Kasey is like my sister. I can tell her anything and she always understands and accepts me and makes me feel good about myself. And she always has good advise. I felt so blessed to have them all at my house at once. What a great night!

As if this wasn't enough, the next night Kasey and I got to go have a girls night with Anona and Jena!  We did not get a picture but we talked about how 10 years from now we will have to have a "convention" in Hawaii and there we can ask each other "how did our kids grow up so fast?!" I hope I do stay close with all of these remarkable women! 

Service

Yesterday in Sacrament meeting two of the sisters that I had worked really hard to serve last week bore their testimonies.  They were both so grateful and their testimonies were strengthened.  Of course it was not just my efforts.  I just visited a woman and gave a shower for the other woman.  Many women attended the shower and brought food and I was not the only one to visit the other woman, but they were both at personal expense to me and my family, so to see that my efforts made a difference to them was rewarding.  The Lord works through us and sometimes it is us taking on the burden of others.  That is what the Lord has asked us to do right?  Brother Balmforth testified that all our efforts to live the gospel are worth it.  He was just called to the bishopric.  He said it is worth it.  I believe it is too. 

Garage sale weekend

There were over 125 garage sales on Grosse Ile this weekend.  I had a blast.  Our best moment was this:

 

This family gave us their play structure for $10 and even helped take it apart.  Paul had it taken apart and reassembled in our backyard in 3 1/2 hours  Amazing!  

I found a punching bag for the boys.  I woke up dreaming about getting one of those so that whenever they are full of too much aggressive energy I can send them to the punching bag and one of the first sales I drove by had one for $20.  I got new brown sandles for myself that I have wanted all summer for .50 and gardening gloves for .25 and a bag of birds and butterflies for 1.50 and a bag of cool vintage cards for .25.  I love deals like that.  I also found ice skates and soccer cleats for the boys for $1 each.  It was a great day! 

 

We've enjoyed our backyard so much this summer.  I've worked hard on the garden and my tomatoes are actually turning red this year.  There aren't a ton, but there are some so it's an improvement from last year.  My globe basil has really grown, and I have lots of purple basil.  My dill went crazy and grew 5' high and went to seed before my cucumbers were even blossoming.  My banana peppers and jalapenos are doing great, and we have had a few salads from the lettuce but the rest has been sort of a flop.  No onions, tiny carrots, small dry beans, a few handfuls of peas- , tall spindly cilantro that flowers so fast I can't seem to pinch it off in time and so far no watermelons or squash forming.  I don't think I get enough sun in my garden patch and maybe I need to fertilize.  I don't know why it's not growing better.  I thought a family of 4 could be fed from a square foot garden. Not true.  We would be dead a long time ago. :)

We were getting ready to go on a walk and I watched Joren look at that water and he just could not, not jump in it.  There is more than one use for snowboarding goggles!

1 year old Teig!!

I just can't believe it's already a year! Oh how I love this kid. He has been a delight every day of his little life. He loves baseballs and gets really excited watching people throw and catch. He will chase his little baseball around the room all morning. So we made him a baseball cake and ice cream to celebrate. I was pretty proud of myself because I've come a long way. When Eirik turned 1 I made a frog fondant cake. It took all day and was a major undertaking. This cake and ice cream combo took less than an hour and it was perfect. The ice cream balls were so easy to make and the kids all loved them. I just frosted on the stitching which only took a few minutes. Teig tried to hold the ball which was too cold to hold and he started to cry. That was not what I expected, but he did not complain when I fed it to him. He loves ice cream.

It was also fun that Joren and Eirik had their first T-ball practice tonight. Teig loved watching and playing with the balls on the side of the field. Eirik and Joren were the stars of the night in my opinion. They were so fun to watch, so excited, so attentive and they both worked hard to listen to coach Bill and to learn the rules of the game. I had to spend a good 5 minutes coercing Eirik out of the car. He was shy and afraid that the older kids would be too intimidating. He was worried that he had not practiced enough. He soon found he was one of the oldest and fastest so it was a good confidence building moment for him. It's hilarious to me watching the youngest kids try to run around the bases when they make this crazy disoriented loop de loop line from home to first while they are looking frantically around in confusion. The coach is really great and I think both boys are going to love it. It was fun for Paul to watch his boys learn to play baseball. A proud father moment for sure.

When we got home we wrapped up some of Teig's toys in tissue paper and cheered for him as he opened them and mouthed them. It was fun for the boys to wrap and give presents.

Oh Teig, I can not write a proper amount of admiration for you. You are the swelling of my heart. You are the smile that pushes away all sadness, you are sunshine every day. When I get you out of bed you sqeeze me and hold on in a big hug. You are so patient and tolerant. You are clever and interested. You are adventurous and smart. You can go up and down stairs with great speed and precision. I love the deliberate pat pat pat of your crawling. I can always hear you coming. You trust me so completely and say mama and dada with such excitement. Sometimes you will be so happy to see both of us that you will reach for me and then reach for dad and then reach for me and we will pass you back and forth while you hug us both. At church you made friends with a younger baby. You stroked his head and poked his eyes and gave him a big long hug. So compassionate. Everywhere we go people oogle and aww at your stunning features. You are such a beautiful baby in every way. You woo all who you meet. I am so blessed to get to hold you and be the recipient of your love every day. Happy birthday my sweet, wonderful baby.

Pick a favorite

I thought about calling Paul today to tell him to pick a favorite because the rest of the kids weren't making it through the day.  I hosted a dinner for the missionaries and two other temporary bachelors in the ward Monday night.  On Tuesday night I hosted a baby shower for a girl in the ward that really needed a shower and everyone loves her, but for some reason no one was planning her shower, so I volunteered.  I CAN NOT host things like this at my house anymore!  i just can't do it.  I was stupid to do it.  I worked my tail off for days to get ready for these events and then my kids were terrors today.  They need a lot more direct attention than I can give when I need to get the house clean for company.  It is AMAZING how naughty they get when they do not get the attention they want.  Yesterday as I was trying desperately to get the house presentable, Teig spilled a 2 liter bottle of sand all over the floor in the kitchen while simultaneously Joren is flooding the downstairs bathroom.  As I was cleaning those messes up Joren went upstairs and spilled an entire bottle of bubble bath all over the bathroom.  At the same time, Eirik is changing into his 3rd ninja costume of the day therefor his room was an explosion of clothes and accessories.  They really do not know how to enter a room without leaving a major trail of stuff behind them.  When I start a project or something for them they are entertained for about 2 minutes and then leave the mess.  I had to pack them all in the car and kill time at the park until Paul got home because I could not clean up one more mess.  I didn't know if I was emotionally going to be able to handle a party at all because I was so frustrated with these kids.  After two days of not having mom's full attention, today was hideous.  Eirik woke up contentious.  When he is in that mood everything is a fight.  Everything I say he contradicts.  Therefor I spent a lot of time today silent and walking away from situations.  It was one of those days where the moment I paste back on a smile I get kicked in the face again.  (Actually I literally did get kicked in the face 3 times today, 2 times at the park and one time trying to put Joren to bed.  I have a fat lip from the 2nd one.)  At the park today after Joren threw a big stick at Eirik and made his head bleed, which is of course stimulus for an enormous 5 year old meltdown, Joren insisted on walking along the bank of this fast moving stream.  The bank which overhung the water by 4 or 5 feet was soft from lots of rain and he was right on the edge.  I was holding Teig and saw that Joren was planning to climb on this log that overhung the water but was certainly not solid.  I begged him to forget his plan but he was set, so I resorted to groveling.  I said, "Ok, we are going to the car to get ice cream.  That's when you know I am at my whits end; when I reward extremely bad behavior with ice cream.  It was all I had left.  Then of course I had a major battle with Eirik on the way to the car because he was insisting on bringing about 8 sticks with us in the car. 1 was twice his size.  There is a long standing rule that no sticks can come in the car, but of course he picked today to battle.  So I sat down and waited until he decided to keep the rules.  I waited on the grass for about 20 minutes.  Man he is stubborn, and I still ended up with one stick in the car.  Sometimes I hate loosing to them all the time.  I just wanted to drop kick Eirik today.  When he fell asleep in the car on the way home I felt fine for the first time all day.  When we got home I rode bikes with Joren out front for 30 min while the other 2 slept.  It was the best part of the day, and then Eirik woke up and my happy went all away again.  He said he was a wolf and was going to stay up all night.  I told him my giving tank was empty and if he did not book it up the stairs he was not going to want to see what was at the bottom of my tank.  Luckily Paul was home and saved the day. 

I did 5 food orders on Mon and Tues too and on Sunday I spent all day at the church making visiting teaching changes.  I left for church at 7:30 and got home at 4:00.  My kids/ my family and I are all suffering because I am working too hard at church.  I am feeling angry that I feel spread too thin.  I know I should not have volunteered so much and I need to say no more.  I feel I need to serve.  My compassionate service leader is gone for the next 3 weeks and we have two sisters in intensive care and 2 sisters about to have babies.  My secretary is in another state with her baby who is getting surgery and will need help when she gets back and my 1st counselor is on full time care helping her sick husband.  I have called a new 1st counselor but she is not yet sustained and Claudia is not yet released.  Jenny, my second counselor has been out of town for a month and a half and he husband just got called to the bishopric.  I have been without a visiting teaching coordinator for 2 months and I can't seem to get anyone called to fill all the positions that we need people for.  I turn in names and then wait and wait and wait.  I feel like I am doing so much by myself.  Wow, I sound like a big complainer.  I'm just sayin'- things have to change.  I can't do it like this anymore.  Something has to give.
Tonight I took Teig on a bike ride and we sat on the cement pylons overlooking the river and watched the sun go down.  It was actually kind of scary sitting over the water like that with a baby so I only stayed a few minutes, but the sunset was very pretty and the bike ride was wonderful.  I love our island and I was able to tune out the anger I had for Eirik and think a little more clearly for a bit.  I have been thinking a lot about sense of place, what it means to belong to a place or live somewhere.  It's amazing how our feeling about a place can change in a moment, and how the way we feel can change drastically even street to street or room to room.  Driving into a certain neighborhood can feel totally different than the street you were on before.  The spirit can be in one room and then completely gone next door.  As I was thinking about this I began to wonder if maybe the spirit is not "a" spirit, but many spirits, maybe the spirit is actually our ancestors looking out for us, listening and taking our prayers to God or through the ranks of important people up to God.  Surely there is organization in heaven as well. Then it occurred to me that the scriptures say that the sins of our parents will be upon us up to seven generations.  Maybe our ancestors can only look out for us according to their valiance or the amount of stewardship that they earned.  Maybe the more faithful you are on earth, the better "spirit helper" you can be to your children.  why is it that we have such an intense fear of what is on the other side.  We are told so much about what is there; enough that we should not be terrified.  It is a good place and God is good, but so often we pretend it is not there.  Our prayers are thoughtless or faithless or without sincere questions.  I wonder how purposeful I am in my prayers and if I could be more faithful how readily personal revelation could come to me.  Paul and I have been praying about where to move in two years.  We have been making spread sheets, talking to everyone we know on the phone and studying the maps.  We have been weighing out all the pros and cons and discussing it in all our free time. (that's not a lot of time actually. :)  I'll have to write it all out on a later post, but after we study it out more, I feel like I wont' be able to move forward with this huge decision until I feel I have a spiritual confirmation.  It's the place we plan to be for the rest of our lives!  It feels permanent and unchangeable in many ways.  We have to make a good choice. 

First Scientific experiment

Eirik had the idea this week to be a mad scientist. He had me fill two glasses with
1. red poisenous potient
2. blue poisenous potient (aka. food coloring)
next he put a flower from outside in each "beaker"
Then he wrote his hypothesis on the yellow paper and taped it up and waited 2 days.
HYPOTHESIS:
When I remove the flower from the potient water and put it in clean water it will change the color of the clean water to the color of the potient water.
Outcome: hypothesis was correct!

Eirik was so excited. "Mom, I'm a real mad scientist! These are my first beakers! Now I just need a white coat and goggles and my own rubber gloves that fit me! Please mom, please!"