Order and chaos at home

I have spent weeks going through everything we own and trying to weed through it and keep about 1/2 of it. This weekend we will have a garage sale and say goodbye to a lot of our possessions. It has been an interesting process of purging and letting go and doing some serious organizing. I have been through all our clothes, all my art supplies, all our papers, books, binders, toys, costumes, furniture, cards, linens, toiletries, storage, decorations and kitchen stuff. I still have he garage to do but it's so filled with stuff we are getting rid of that it's hard to get to the organizing.
I want a clean fresh start. I also feel weighed down trying to keep so much stuff cleaned up and organized. Partly it's a control thing. In a way I feel out of control in my home because motherhood is a process of letting go everyday. I guess I feel that if I get rid of stuff there will be room for more order. Maybe I am dreaming though. I'm not sure. I organize because I see immediate order where with my kids I feel I can not create order. I find myself nagging and getting nowhere. I really don't understand boys. My poor boys. They must feel so misunderstood. This is a picture of my boys desks. Why do they look like this again?!! We just organized them. They collect so much junk. I can not control their chaos even though I would love to!

Here it is!! Our new Nest. I can't wait!

It's not my style, but we are going to love living here.  I feel very optimisitc and I am putting aside the interior designer in me for at least another year. I love granite countertops and I love stone on the exterior.  Paul says there are frogs in the tiny pond in the front.  The boys will love that.  I can't wait to meet the neighbors.

Eeeeeeeee!!

DD (Dreamy Doc) found us a house today in West Linn!  We were planning that I would fly out in May to look for a house because we assumed it might be still a little too early to secure something for mid June, but it looks like these guys will hold this one for us.  Everyone tells us the market is so hot in WL that you have to jump while the fruit is ripe or it's gone. A realtor friend in the ward called to tell us she found a house that was not even on the market yet. She said, "I found it! It's perfect!"Paul went to see it and is ready to put down a deposit tomorrow. He says we won't find anything better. It is in a great neighborhood, blocks from the church and right in the area with the great schools that we want to be in.  It's within a block form a huge park, meadow with tennis courts and basketball hoops.  There are tons of kids and moms everywhere.  It's on a very non- busy street, and it had enough rooms ie/ lots of space.  It is really nice out front, and its' very new and it looks well made.
We have both been saying for years that we don't want a great big home.
1.  I don't want to have to clean a huge house.
2. I don't want to have to search for my kids for dinner in a huge house.
3. I don't want the kids to disappear for hours and I don't hear from them.
So, why are we choosing a huge house??
I love old houses, and houses with character. I love houses with rustic charm and farmhouse feel. I love being in nature and having big trees around me and having a garden and spending all spring and summer outside.  So why are we choosing a new, vanilla, white box house with no charm or character and an ity bity yard and no spot for a garden? hmm... and paying a lot for it?.... hmm....
We have a huge dog with black fur and this house is all white carpet. hmm......
We have always said that we want to be able to choose who our kids hang out with. So why are we moving to suburia central where we will have every neighbor kid on the block knocking on the door and our kids running to every neighbor kids house every day?  hmmm.....
I want a yard and some land to put the boys to work so they stay grounded and grateful.

Well, the answers to all those questions:
1. I have missed sitting on soft carpet.
2. It will be nice to be so close to neighbors and other mormons and lots of kids and friends and the church.
3. it's temporary
4. We can paint whatever walls we want
5. But the most important reason is that the Lord told us pretty clearly when we prayed that West Linn was the place for us, so we are listening, and this is available, and we have not seen many other options in all the months we have been looking.  
6. I think we are going to really like it.

Teig the terror

The tantrums this week have reached epic highs. I thought no one could beat Eiriks tirades when he was 2, but Teig has demonstrated the same relentless stamina. My blood pressure and anxiety go through the roof when he boils over. In the doctors office this week he exploded over the tiniest thing, screamed his blood curdling scream and threw his head back violently on the floor. I had to help him out of the office by lifting him by one arm because I had Juni in a car seat in the other arm. I have been through it enough to know that this too will pass and I might actually see my Sweet T again someday. I just hope it passes before my plane trip to Utah in June where I will be flying with three of my kids by myself. Managing that kind of tantrum on a plane while helping Juni if she is crying and Joren, if he is demanding, could get interesting... but it will be for 9 hours of travel instead of all the way across the country stopping to nurse every couple of minutes while kids scream about hating their car seats. It sounds a lot more manageable to me and I can't wait to spend time with my family in Utah!  Oh Teig.. we will get through this, you and me. 

Juni's Banner

I finished Juni's banner. I love how it matches the crib ruffle I made. I used freezer paper to make the stencil and painted the J with craft paint. The flowers were fun to make. I hope she likes it. :)

The Countdown

I just learned that our friends Anona and Trevor sold their house. They may be packing up almost a month earlier than they planned.  Moving day.. this huge day that represents such enormous changes for our family suddenly seems so close.  I've been doing the countdown in my head for over a year and a half, and of course planning and trying to anticipate every little thing for about as long.  So many things have been surprises or out of my control, but the day we leave has been pretty set and now it is only 9 weeks away.  That means only 2 more bunco nights with the girls, 9 more playgroups, 2 more rent checks, 9 more Monday trips to Aldi, 2 or 3 more trips to our library, 3 more weeks teaching primary and volunteering in the boys classrooms, and only one more beautiful Michigan spring.  Watching spring come alive is exhilarating.  I love our gorgeous backyard. In our new home in Oregon, will we have nature in our backyard like we do here?  I don't imagine we will ever have deer and coyotes and squirrel and bunnies and woodpeckers and cardinals as constant friends.  And there are many other things I will miss so much about living here. I feel like our time here has been magical. We were blessed to find this home with all of it's quirks like the constantly squeaky floors and power surges and with all it's amenities like granite counter tops and fish in the pond out back.  I have collected some lovely treasures while we have lived here and I'll admit, a lot of belongings have come along with the addition of 2 babies and a dog to our life in this house.  When we moved here from our apartment 3 years ago we pretty much filled a 27' truck.  I don't know how, but we did. Now, with that in mind, I have spent months asking myself with every object I touch, "does this come with us or get sold, given away or trashed?"  I have always worried that I was too connected to my things, and that I allow them to define me too much.  I often gauge my level of vanity or dependence on things in my life by asking myself if I would be willing to let it go, let it all go.  So the question of what stays and what goes is not just a simple, "do we need it or do we like it?  I like pretty much all of my stuff.  If I don't love it, I'm sort of attached to it because I made it or refinished it, or re-purposed it, or have plans for it.  Some things are hard to part with because they are gifts from people I may never see again.  And, some of our belongings are special because they have been with us through these wonderful years of babies that I treasure so much.  DD and I talk a lot about what it might be like when we have enough money that I don't have to fix every little darn thing that breaks, and we might just be able to replace broken and crappy things.  To be honest, I have a hard time picturing that day although I believe my husband when he says that it will come.  Still, I don't really want to live out of boxes and sit on the floor for years because we gave away all of our furniture.  It's a little overwhelming and I need to have my garage sale because as soon as I unload all the stuff I know we are leaving, I think I will feel a lot better.
The big question is, "how can I know if it is going to fit in a 27' truck so that on moving day I am not frantic to fit 5 more feet of belongings somewhere at the last minute?

Our New Business

Dr. A and I have been busy.  We are so excited that the goals we have been working toward for so many years are finally taking shape.   I am so proud of my Dreamy Doctor (DD) husband. When he puts his mind to something he is like an unstoppable tank.  He knew he wanted his own practice.  He built a vision for it and that vision is nearly complete.  We are laying all the groundwork and getting ready for that exciting first day of work.  Today Paul spent the day deciding on health insurance for us and all the employees.  I spent the day getting quotes on signage and typing our Employee Policy Manual.  We got our new logo this week.  We love it!  I hope you do to.  We had a designer named Ryan Stephens do it for us.

OUR NEW LOGO! 

This is a mock up of an appointment card which will obviously have other doctors names on it along with Paul's.  I think the logo is a great mix of clean, modern and reproducible with a great organic element.  It lends itself to a clinical feel and also a skin care line/ medi-spa feel.  We will print the cards with raised ink.  I want to have a sandblasted sign of the leaf/ layers of skin mark to hang in the lobby.  I just love it. 

There are lots of decisions left to be made, but most of the important groundwork is done.  We finally finished the purchase and sale agreement (months in the making), signed the paperwork on the lease and paid first months rent, and got all the documentation done to receive the loans we will need to purchase the practice and the accounts receivable.  Piece by piece the puzzle is coming together.  We are being very blessed in this process.  I am so excited!

 Great work so far Dr. A!

Juni is One month old!

I could spend every hour of my days holding and staring at June.  She is gorgeous.  She is already one month and 3 days old and I am just dying that it is going so fast. The days of her incubation inched by like they would never end and now the long moments of watching her sleep race by way too fast.  I have loved and savored every minute of this month. She is perfection.  I feel like I can see her growing from one feeding to the next. She gets more solid every time I pick her up.  There are really no words to describe how utterly and completely I feel devoted to her.  it is not different than how I felt with any of my babies, but I think that since she is probably our last baby I am more desperately in sync with her every move. I spend a lot of time imagining what she will be like at 2, and at 5, and at 12 and 18, and 85.  It's amazes me that I am holding a little woman, a spirit that could be anyone, and I get the privilege of getting to know her and helping her understand this big world. When I

think of how she is my spiritual sister, I feel so totally honored that I get to be her mother. I want everything that is best for her. When Paul asked me what i hoped he was include in her blessing i said I hoped that she would hunger and thirst after righteousness and that she would have a shield of protection against anyone who would want to cause her harm, and that someday she would find a man to take her to the temple that would love and protect her the way my husband loves me.

Eirik is growing up so fast!

This week Eirik did all kinds of new things.  I am so proud of him.He wants to write about some of his experiences:

This week I played sudoku, made Nachos and I went on a run with my  Dad and Mom and I also weaved a chain.        

P.S. I Read a chapter book.
by Eirik stephen Aanderud.

Also, he typed all of the above by himself, and notice.. no misspellings! Isn't he great!
He has been quoting a movie line that says, "flattery will get you nowhere".
However, he has learned that flattery will get him somewhere with me.  He knows just what to say to me and tonight he made up a song about how pretty I am and how he will do anything for me.  Well, he's on my good list tonight. it's so hard to not expect too much of him because he's so darn mature and capable.  Unfortunately, he tends to focus on any negative thing he has done, rather than the positive. When I see him being hard on himself, it breaks my heart.  I want him to love himself and be proud of his accomplishments.  I put up a big sign in his room that says, "love what you do."  I know Paul and I are hard on him. I just hope that we are smart enough to be easy when he needs it and that our high hopes won't turn into something he feels is unattainable.  He is so grown up, but he is also so young and vulnerable.  My heart is so tender toward him. 

Teig 2 1/2 years old

While watching conference Teig wanted to play with a toy that made a lot of noise. Paul snatched it and tossed it across the room. Teig said, "no dad, hand it to me." Then he went and got it off the floor and brought it to Paul, gave it to him and said "now hand it to me." When Paul had given it to him, Teig said, "that's better. That's how I like it."
I swear Teig is more emotionally mature than I was at 15.
Teig remembers everything. He won't let me put on his pajama until he has emptied his pockets because he is afraid he will loose whatever treasure is there. He never looses things. He loves to collect. He has a very good sense of what is fair. He does not mess with his brothers stuff and if he wants something he knows they won't want to share he will say, "I see it for just a tiny second? I no break it. I won't pill (spill) it. I be careful." This is also the sweet way he asks to use the iPhone, "I play just one tiny game? I won't turn it up high, I not make lots of noise, I give it right back".. He's great at negotiating. How did he get so smart? We watched ice age 3 for family movie night a few weeks ago and he started quoting the line, "when you drink water through your trunk, does it taste like buggers? No...sometimes." I think it is so smart when a kid knows how to use comedy and when to say something funny.
He makes us laugh all the time.
He was completely potty trained even dry most nights. He was refusing to wear diapers at night and one day he just decided he had had enough of being potty trained and went back to diapers. I did not make a big deal of it because it is just because of Juni being in the house. He will get back to potty training shortly I'm sure. It was really confusing for him when she first came. He has had a lot of angry tantrums about being big or not being big and has started waking up every night and saying, "I need you mommy." It has been quite an adjustment for him. He stopped naps completely. If he takes one he is up until 10:30 or 11 and is crazy the next day. He's been very independent in ways that surprise me a lot. He has a bag of gold pirate coins that entertained him for most of a day last week. A game with small checker pieces entertained him for a few hours the next day. He likes to be doing his own thing while being around other people. His long dark lashes and pouty cheeks are killing me lately. He is so gorgeous. What a lady killer he is going to be!!

Eirik is 7!

Eirik is turning 7.  This exciting birthday has been emotionally charged as it falls on Juniper's due date.  At first sharing a birthday with his sister was super exciting, but as it approached, it became quite distressing.  It's easy to see how one would feel superceded by an infant's arrival and that's just how Eirik felt.  As a result we were reminded hourly of his birthday by requests and demands and new ideas and plans.  His birthday party morphed from a dinner out with a friend to a family camping trip to a spy party with all his friends, to about 8 other ideas and back to what it turned out being.  Helping Eirik know that he was important and not forgotten became a serious challenge and we all worked hard to express our attention and love to him.
Paul inherited the role of mater party planner since I was preoccupied having a baby.  Eirik reflected on how his friend Charley invited just our family to his birthday party a few months ago, and decided to invite just the Budd family and our friend Josh to his party.  He asked for a bow and arrow so we decided to do an archery party.  Paul bought a nice target and some other survival gear.  We got him a flint and steel fire starting kit, a mess kit and some other gear.

 Starting a fire with flint and steel was really fun for all the kids.

Eirik seems to be 7 going on 13.  He is so upset that he is still now allowed a pocket knife.  He feels like he is not allowed to do anything and was even upset his bow and arrow did not have real tips so he could kill a deer.  It's hard to be 7.  I sure love him and hope he grows into his expectations at some point.  Happy Birthday my Eirik!

Juniper's Blessing:

We hold this beautiful infant in our arms to give her a name and a blessing.
Heavenly Father at this time we see this infant and we know that she came from thee surrounded by those that love her. Please bless her to always remember that she has a relationship with thee. Bless her that she will gain strength and confidence from this relationship. Please bless her to always follow thy son and use the atonement in her life. Help her to develop a love of learning and a desire to seek out the best books. Please bless her with safety and help her to know how to avoid extra troubles in this world.  Bless her that she will live in a way as to not offend the spirit so that He will be a constant companion to her.  Bless her to have a desire to be married in the temple. Bless her that she will find a husband that will provide for her and keep her safe and they can progress together until they can return and live with thee again.
We are grateful for this bundle of joy.  Thank you for allowing her to come to our family.

Juni's baby blessing

We blessed Juni today. She is so precious. She did not cry. Paul gave her a beautiful blessing. Juni had a great group of priesthood holding men surround her for her blessing. John Clifford, Bishop Llewellyn, Ryan Christensen, Jake Budd, Trevor Davis, Randy Balmforth, and Travis Hamblin. Paul said he really felt the spirit exercising his priesthood with so many worthy men. It was special to have her blessing on Easter Sunday. The program was really nice with lots of musical numbers . Paul sang "He is Risen" with a group of wonderful men. Eirik and Joren sang with the primary. I tried to video the second song but Joren was cracking me up so much I could not hold the camera steady. He is such a goofball!
Juni wore a beautiful dress from her Aunt Amy that her cousins wore for their blessings. Our dear friend Debbe Lavely made a beautiful white crocheted hat to marching the little booties I had. She even found a button to match exactly. Debbe has become a very special part of our lives. She loves our boys so much and treats them like grand kids. Last week we sang "Till We Meet" in sacrament meeting while i sat next to Debbe sand I cried through the whole thing.
It was also special that Pat and John were able to be here for her blessing. It gives me a taste of what it will be like to be near family and I love it!

Mom is best

Could my mom be any cuter?  Look at her smile.  She brightens up any place she goes, and that's just what she did the week she was at our home in Detroit.  She came with that smile and spent a whole week making us happy as clams.  The only thing that is great about living far away is that when we do get to see each other, we get to really spend quality time together.  At home, my mom is one busy woman and everyone wants her attention, but at my house, we get her all to ourselves.  We felt really spoiled.  She brought one of our first warm days with her and we spent it outside raking, riding bikes and playing tennis in the front yard.  By the late afternoon, some of us even took our coats off for a while.  The next day was snowing again, but we made the most of the sunshine!

 

  

 Joren and Eirik picked up bike riding right where we left off in the fall and they rode like champs. 

 Paul suggested that we go back to Belle Isle. It's been about 4 years since we first explored there and we thought my mom might like it.  The aquarium was open this time.  The ceiling made of green glass tile was gorgeous.  There were some really awesome animals there, and lots of tanks filled with artistic displays made my local artists.  

 The conservatory opened in 1904.  It has hundreds of orchids and amazing tropicals.  It was fun to see my mom get excited about the cacti and succulents, which I really love too.  Paul and I love the century plants.  Joren got a little wild and Paul took him to the corner to do push ups.  Teig thought there were real tigers in the roped off area of the tropical room.  We all growled and played along and Teig talked about the tigers for the rest of the day.  Eirik liked getting the brochures and then complained that we never get to do what he wants to do.

  

 For lunch Paul took us to a small Coney Island where we all got Greek food and Coney Island hot dogs.  Is this the greatest group of people ever?  I am such a lucky girl.  Juni is up there in the car seat.  On the way back to the car we stopped at a cute little bakery and all got St. Patrick's day cookies.  Paul gets the award for the best Sat. event planner.  It was such a fun day.

 Besides a few small errands and trips to the grocery store, the rest of the week, we spent out of the snow, in the warm house playing with boys and snuggling little Juni.  I commandeered my moms help on a bunch of projects like tying one of Juni's quilts.  We did little starburst patterns every 5" in different colored floss.  It turned out looking pretty vintage.  I will have to photograph the front which has a gorgeous flower pattern I have been drooling over for years. 

 For St. Patricks day my mom bought corned beef which we made with cabbage and potatoes.  Paul made us all crack up with his Irish accent and Eirik taught us all about Ireland which he's been studying about at school.  Then we watched some step dancing on Paul's phone and we all tried it out, which quickly transformed into a full out Aanderud dance party.
The next day we made rainbow fruit skewers and rainbow pancakes.  Surprisingly, my kids devour fruit when it is served like this.  Otherwise.. not so much.  Skewers also make great battle weapons.  Ah, the unexpected outcome of simple fruit kabobs.

 My mom said that it is tradition for grandmas to make sugar cookies with their grandkids, so she carried it on.  She let the kids cut out the shapes and then we all had fun decorating them.  There was a day when I used to spend hours decorating sugar cookies.  I have had a big enough dose of reality that this time I limited my boys to two colors and sprinkles. 

They were just fine with that.

My mom also brought egg dye and helped the boys dye eggs.  Yay!  I did not have to do it this year.  Not that i don't love it, I just get way too carried away and loose my focus on the essential simplicity of dying eggs with little ones.  My mom is awesome.
When we took her to the airport I could not help but feel like I was getting an arm cut off.  I miss her and can't wait to see her again.

Adjustment Period

People keep asking me how the boys are adjusting to having a new little sister.  They all love her and act adoring to her.  They all say how cute she is and pray for her and give her kisses and want to hold her.  Teig holds her for about 4 seconds and then says, "i'm all done" and pushes her off his lap.  Joren says, "if we did not have baby Juni, I would go to the doctor's office and just bring her home as fast as I could!"  On the surface they all love having a sister.  But as I thought about it a little more I realized a few things. 
Since Juni came home, Eirik has started saying even more often how everyone in the world hates him, how no one is nice to him, how when he gets older he wants to throw throwing knives at his face... Dramatic things like that to get attention.  He also said, "I don't want Juni around because that just means  that there is one more person I have to help.

Joren has started a new stage of liking all things fairy and tinker bell.  It started with a drawing from school and since then he has made a fairy book every day, little wooden fairies, and he has commandeered Juni's new pink and purple blanket for his bed.  He claims that girls get more attention and that he wants to be a girl. 

 

Teig had to give up his crib for Juni and we moved him into a big boy bed.  He has been really excited about being a big boy and he has pretty much mastered potty training.  He has started to refuse to wear diapers to bed even though there are still sometimes nighttime accidents, but he is intent of being a big boy.  Every time he eats anything he says he has gotten taller like Eirik.  And with his newly discovered big boy age has come a new big boy attitude.  His tantrums and insistence on independence have become truly impressive.  He has also suddenly decided that he is too big for naps and refuses to take them.  Then he is outrageously tired by 7:00.  Getting Paul to give up an hour of Teig time at night has, so far, been impossible, so we have had some pretty out of control bedtimes with an overtired 2 going on 5 year old.  When he is rested he is still that super delightful, kind and easy to be entreated boy, but if he is tired, look out, Hyde is out!

Not quite sure what to think..

For the first 10 days home from the hospital we had at least one extra kid besides Juni in our bed with us.  They have all needed lots of reassurance that they are still loved and not being displaced.  We have sure tried to ease this transition, but we are sure not through it yet.