Teig's journal May 8th-2 1/2 years old

I wike Wiwy (Lily) He is my fwavworite. And I wike Charlie and Daniel Eirik Joren and mommy and daddy. I pway wif tor and Juni. Juni is my best fwriend. No he is not bigger yet. (Teig says he for all girls still.)
What are your favorite things to do?
Pway wif my toys. I can do wots of fings. I wove aw my stuff. I have dominoes. All my fings are mine and I can't share. They are all the fings I need to play. There's red and green and blue and purple, no there's not purple. Dis is my backpack. Johnny brought it for me. I wove my going going coins. ( gold coins). I put vem in my safe.
I will tew you a stowy bout a dagon! (dragon). Once pon a time ver was a berry scary Dagon. He had sharp cwaws, sharp teef, sharp eyes and a sharp forehead. He went wike zis.. Roar! Ven I ride on his back. Ve end.

May!

The glorious first week of May has finally arrived.  After a lengthy, deep latency, the world is awakening once again.  For years I have referred to it as hibernation because I feel like I am suddenly rubbing a deep sleep from my eyes.  We spent the weekend in the new sunshine running the garage sale, then a glorious Sunday on the back porch just enjoying the sun.  Last night for family home evening we had a hot dog roast and the boys got to collect the firewood for the campfire.  The magnolia trees are out in their glory and the yard is full of giant tulips and daffodils.  The field of lily of the valley is becoming lush around the pond.  The boys took off all of their clothes on Sunday and dipped their legs in the water enjoying the freedom of warmth.  For months it's as if we have been just surviving and now suddenly we are living.  I piled the plates full of vegetables and fruit yesterday on the back porch.  It is glorious.  When so many months separate the late summer from the spring you almost forget how wonderful it is.. almost.  But I remembered well enough that in anticipation I worked really hard during the cold weeks of spring so that now that May has arrived, I can slow down and enjoy it a bit more.

Order and chaos at home

I have spent weeks going through everything we own and trying to weed through it and keep about 1/2 of it. This weekend we will have a garage sale and say goodbye to a lot of our possessions. It has been an interesting process of purging and letting go and doing some serious organizing. I have been through all our clothes, all my art supplies, all our papers, books, binders, toys, costumes, furniture, cards, linens, toiletries, storage, decorations and kitchen stuff. I still have he garage to do but it's so filled with stuff we are getting rid of that it's hard to get to the organizing.
I want a clean fresh start. I also feel weighed down trying to keep so much stuff cleaned up and organized. Partly it's a control thing. In a way I feel out of control in my home because motherhood is a process of letting go everyday. I guess I feel that if I get rid of stuff there will be room for more order. Maybe I am dreaming though. I'm not sure. I organize because I see immediate order where with my kids I feel I can not create order. I find myself nagging and getting nowhere. I really don't understand boys. My poor boys. They must feel so misunderstood. This is a picture of my boys desks. Why do they look like this again?!! We just organized them. They collect so much junk. I can not control their chaos even though I would love to!

Here it is!! Our new Nest. I can't wait!

It's not my style, but we are going to love living here.  I feel very optimisitc and I am putting aside the interior designer in me for at least another year. I love granite countertops and I love stone on the exterior.  Paul says there are frogs in the tiny pond in the front.  The boys will love that.  I can't wait to meet the neighbors.

Eeeeeeeee!!

DD (Dreamy Doc) found us a house today in West Linn!  We were planning that I would fly out in May to look for a house because we assumed it might be still a little too early to secure something for mid June, but it looks like these guys will hold this one for us.  Everyone tells us the market is so hot in WL that you have to jump while the fruit is ripe or it's gone. A realtor friend in the ward called to tell us she found a house that was not even on the market yet. She said, "I found it! It's perfect!"Paul went to see it and is ready to put down a deposit tomorrow. He says we won't find anything better. It is in a great neighborhood, blocks from the church and right in the area with the great schools that we want to be in.  It's within a block form a huge park, meadow with tennis courts and basketball hoops.  There are tons of kids and moms everywhere.  It's on a very non- busy street, and it had enough rooms ie/ lots of space.  It is really nice out front, and its' very new and it looks well made.
We have both been saying for years that we don't want a great big home.
1.  I don't want to have to clean a huge house.
2. I don't want to have to search for my kids for dinner in a huge house.
3. I don't want the kids to disappear for hours and I don't hear from them.
So, why are we choosing a huge house??
I love old houses, and houses with character. I love houses with rustic charm and farmhouse feel. I love being in nature and having big trees around me and having a garden and spending all spring and summer outside.  So why are we choosing a new, vanilla, white box house with no charm or character and an ity bity yard and no spot for a garden? hmm... and paying a lot for it?.... hmm....
We have a huge dog with black fur and this house is all white carpet. hmm......
We have always said that we want to be able to choose who our kids hang out with. So why are we moving to suburia central where we will have every neighbor kid on the block knocking on the door and our kids running to every neighbor kids house every day?  hmmm.....
I want a yard and some land to put the boys to work so they stay grounded and grateful.

Well, the answers to all those questions:
1. I have missed sitting on soft carpet.
2. It will be nice to be so close to neighbors and other mormons and lots of kids and friends and the church.
3. it's temporary
4. We can paint whatever walls we want
5. But the most important reason is that the Lord told us pretty clearly when we prayed that West Linn was the place for us, so we are listening, and this is available, and we have not seen many other options in all the months we have been looking.  
6. I think we are going to really like it.

Teig the terror

The tantrums this week have reached epic highs. I thought no one could beat Eiriks tirades when he was 2, but Teig has demonstrated the same relentless stamina. My blood pressure and anxiety go through the roof when he boils over. In the doctors office this week he exploded over the tiniest thing, screamed his blood curdling scream and threw his head back violently on the floor. I had to help him out of the office by lifting him by one arm because I had Juni in a car seat in the other arm. I have been through it enough to know that this too will pass and I might actually see my Sweet T again someday. I just hope it passes before my plane trip to Utah in June where I will be flying with three of my kids by myself. Managing that kind of tantrum on a plane while helping Juni if she is crying and Joren, if he is demanding, could get interesting... but it will be for 9 hours of travel instead of all the way across the country stopping to nurse every couple of minutes while kids scream about hating their car seats. It sounds a lot more manageable to me and I can't wait to spend time with my family in Utah!  Oh Teig.. we will get through this, you and me. 

Juni's Banner

I finished Juni's banner. I love how it matches the crib ruffle I made. I used freezer paper to make the stencil and painted the J with craft paint. The flowers were fun to make. I hope she likes it. :)

The Countdown

I just learned that our friends Anona and Trevor sold their house. They may be packing up almost a month earlier than they planned.  Moving day.. this huge day that represents such enormous changes for our family suddenly seems so close.  I've been doing the countdown in my head for over a year and a half, and of course planning and trying to anticipate every little thing for about as long.  So many things have been surprises or out of my control, but the day we leave has been pretty set and now it is only 9 weeks away.  That means only 2 more bunco nights with the girls, 9 more playgroups, 2 more rent checks, 9 more Monday trips to Aldi, 2 or 3 more trips to our library, 3 more weeks teaching primary and volunteering in the boys classrooms, and only one more beautiful Michigan spring.  Watching spring come alive is exhilarating.  I love our gorgeous backyard. In our new home in Oregon, will we have nature in our backyard like we do here?  I don't imagine we will ever have deer and coyotes and squirrel and bunnies and woodpeckers and cardinals as constant friends.  And there are many other things I will miss so much about living here. I feel like our time here has been magical. We were blessed to find this home with all of it's quirks like the constantly squeaky floors and power surges and with all it's amenities like granite counter tops and fish in the pond out back.  I have collected some lovely treasures while we have lived here and I'll admit, a lot of belongings have come along with the addition of 2 babies and a dog to our life in this house.  When we moved here from our apartment 3 years ago we pretty much filled a 27' truck.  I don't know how, but we did. Now, with that in mind, I have spent months asking myself with every object I touch, "does this come with us or get sold, given away or trashed?"  I have always worried that I was too connected to my things, and that I allow them to define me too much.  I often gauge my level of vanity or dependence on things in my life by asking myself if I would be willing to let it go, let it all go.  So the question of what stays and what goes is not just a simple, "do we need it or do we like it?  I like pretty much all of my stuff.  If I don't love it, I'm sort of attached to it because I made it or refinished it, or re-purposed it, or have plans for it.  Some things are hard to part with because they are gifts from people I may never see again.  And, some of our belongings are special because they have been with us through these wonderful years of babies that I treasure so much.  DD and I talk a lot about what it might be like when we have enough money that I don't have to fix every little darn thing that breaks, and we might just be able to replace broken and crappy things.  To be honest, I have a hard time picturing that day although I believe my husband when he says that it will come.  Still, I don't really want to live out of boxes and sit on the floor for years because we gave away all of our furniture.  It's a little overwhelming and I need to have my garage sale because as soon as I unload all the stuff I know we are leaving, I think I will feel a lot better.
The big question is, "how can I know if it is going to fit in a 27' truck so that on moving day I am not frantic to fit 5 more feet of belongings somewhere at the last minute?

Our New Business

Dr. A and I have been busy.  We are so excited that the goals we have been working toward for so many years are finally taking shape.   I am so proud of my Dreamy Doctor (DD) husband. When he puts his mind to something he is like an unstoppable tank.  He knew he wanted his own practice.  He built a vision for it and that vision is nearly complete.  We are laying all the groundwork and getting ready for that exciting first day of work.  Today Paul spent the day deciding on health insurance for us and all the employees.  I spent the day getting quotes on signage and typing our Employee Policy Manual.  We got our new logo this week.  We love it!  I hope you do to.  We had a designer named Ryan Stephens do it for us.

OUR NEW LOGO! 

This is a mock up of an appointment card which will obviously have other doctors names on it along with Paul's.  I think the logo is a great mix of clean, modern and reproducible with a great organic element.  It lends itself to a clinical feel and also a skin care line/ medi-spa feel.  We will print the cards with raised ink.  I want to have a sandblasted sign of the leaf/ layers of skin mark to hang in the lobby.  I just love it. 

There are lots of decisions left to be made, but most of the important groundwork is done.  We finally finished the purchase and sale agreement (months in the making), signed the paperwork on the lease and paid first months rent, and got all the documentation done to receive the loans we will need to purchase the practice and the accounts receivable.  Piece by piece the puzzle is coming together.  We are being very blessed in this process.  I am so excited!

 Great work so far Dr. A!

Juni is One month old!

I could spend every hour of my days holding and staring at June.  She is gorgeous.  She is already one month and 3 days old and I am just dying that it is going so fast. The days of her incubation inched by like they would never end and now the long moments of watching her sleep race by way too fast.  I have loved and savored every minute of this month. She is perfection.  I feel like I can see her growing from one feeding to the next. She gets more solid every time I pick her up.  There are really no words to describe how utterly and completely I feel devoted to her.  it is not different than how I felt with any of my babies, but I think that since she is probably our last baby I am more desperately in sync with her every move. I spend a lot of time imagining what she will be like at 2, and at 5, and at 12 and 18, and 85.  It's amazes me that I am holding a little woman, a spirit that could be anyone, and I get the privilege of getting to know her and helping her understand this big world. When I

think of how she is my spiritual sister, I feel so totally honored that I get to be her mother. I want everything that is best for her. When Paul asked me what i hoped he was include in her blessing i said I hoped that she would hunger and thirst after righteousness and that she would have a shield of protection against anyone who would want to cause her harm, and that someday she would find a man to take her to the temple that would love and protect her the way my husband loves me.

Eirik is growing up so fast!

This week Eirik did all kinds of new things.  I am so proud of him.He wants to write about some of his experiences:

This week I played sudoku, made Nachos and I went on a run with my  Dad and Mom and I also weaved a chain.        

P.S. I Read a chapter book.
by Eirik stephen Aanderud.

Also, he typed all of the above by himself, and notice.. no misspellings! Isn't he great!
He has been quoting a movie line that says, "flattery will get you nowhere".
However, he has learned that flattery will get him somewhere with me.  He knows just what to say to me and tonight he made up a song about how pretty I am and how he will do anything for me.  Well, he's on my good list tonight. it's so hard to not expect too much of him because he's so darn mature and capable.  Unfortunately, he tends to focus on any negative thing he has done, rather than the positive. When I see him being hard on himself, it breaks my heart.  I want him to love himself and be proud of his accomplishments.  I put up a big sign in his room that says, "love what you do."  I know Paul and I are hard on him. I just hope that we are smart enough to be easy when he needs it and that our high hopes won't turn into something he feels is unattainable.  He is so grown up, but he is also so young and vulnerable.  My heart is so tender toward him. 

Teig 2 1/2 years old

While watching conference Teig wanted to play with a toy that made a lot of noise. Paul snatched it and tossed it across the room. Teig said, "no dad, hand it to me." Then he went and got it off the floor and brought it to Paul, gave it to him and said "now hand it to me." When Paul had given it to him, Teig said, "that's better. That's how I like it."
I swear Teig is more emotionally mature than I was at 15.
Teig remembers everything. He won't let me put on his pajama until he has emptied his pockets because he is afraid he will loose whatever treasure is there. He never looses things. He loves to collect. He has a very good sense of what is fair. He does not mess with his brothers stuff and if he wants something he knows they won't want to share he will say, "I see it for just a tiny second? I no break it. I won't pill (spill) it. I be careful." This is also the sweet way he asks to use the iPhone, "I play just one tiny game? I won't turn it up high, I not make lots of noise, I give it right back".. He's great at negotiating. How did he get so smart? We watched ice age 3 for family movie night a few weeks ago and he started quoting the line, "when you drink water through your trunk, does it taste like buggers? No...sometimes." I think it is so smart when a kid knows how to use comedy and when to say something funny.
He makes us laugh all the time.
He was completely potty trained even dry most nights. He was refusing to wear diapers at night and one day he just decided he had had enough of being potty trained and went back to diapers. I did not make a big deal of it because it is just because of Juni being in the house. He will get back to potty training shortly I'm sure. It was really confusing for him when she first came. He has had a lot of angry tantrums about being big or not being big and has started waking up every night and saying, "I need you mommy." It has been quite an adjustment for him. He stopped naps completely. If he takes one he is up until 10:30 or 11 and is crazy the next day. He's been very independent in ways that surprise me a lot. He has a bag of gold pirate coins that entertained him for most of a day last week. A game with small checker pieces entertained him for a few hours the next day. He likes to be doing his own thing while being around other people. His long dark lashes and pouty cheeks are killing me lately. He is so gorgeous. What a lady killer he is going to be!!

Eirik is 7!

Eirik is turning 7.  This exciting birthday has been emotionally charged as it falls on Juniper's due date.  At first sharing a birthday with his sister was super exciting, but as it approached, it became quite distressing.  It's easy to see how one would feel superceded by an infant's arrival and that's just how Eirik felt.  As a result we were reminded hourly of his birthday by requests and demands and new ideas and plans.  His birthday party morphed from a dinner out with a friend to a family camping trip to a spy party with all his friends, to about 8 other ideas and back to what it turned out being.  Helping Eirik know that he was important and not forgotten became a serious challenge and we all worked hard to express our attention and love to him.
Paul inherited the role of mater party planner since I was preoccupied having a baby.  Eirik reflected on how his friend Charley invited just our family to his birthday party a few months ago, and decided to invite just the Budd family and our friend Josh to his party.  He asked for a bow and arrow so we decided to do an archery party.  Paul bought a nice target and some other survival gear.  We got him a flint and steel fire starting kit, a mess kit and some other gear.

 Starting a fire with flint and steel was really fun for all the kids.

Eirik seems to be 7 going on 13.  He is so upset that he is still now allowed a pocket knife.  He feels like he is not allowed to do anything and was even upset his bow and arrow did not have real tips so he could kill a deer.  It's hard to be 7.  I sure love him and hope he grows into his expectations at some point.  Happy Birthday my Eirik!

Juniper's Blessing:

We hold this beautiful infant in our arms to give her a name and a blessing.
Heavenly Father at this time we see this infant and we know that she came from thee surrounded by those that love her. Please bless her to always remember that she has a relationship with thee. Bless her that she will gain strength and confidence from this relationship. Please bless her to always follow thy son and use the atonement in her life. Help her to develop a love of learning and a desire to seek out the best books. Please bless her with safety and help her to know how to avoid extra troubles in this world.  Bless her that she will live in a way as to not offend the spirit so that He will be a constant companion to her.  Bless her to have a desire to be married in the temple. Bless her that she will find a husband that will provide for her and keep her safe and they can progress together until they can return and live with thee again.
We are grateful for this bundle of joy.  Thank you for allowing her to come to our family.

Juni's baby blessing

We blessed Juni today. She is so precious. She did not cry. Paul gave her a beautiful blessing. Juni had a great group of priesthood holding men surround her for her blessing. John Clifford, Bishop Llewellyn, Ryan Christensen, Jake Budd, Trevor Davis, Randy Balmforth, and Travis Hamblin. Paul said he really felt the spirit exercising his priesthood with so many worthy men. It was special to have her blessing on Easter Sunday. The program was really nice with lots of musical numbers . Paul sang "He is Risen" with a group of wonderful men. Eirik and Joren sang with the primary. I tried to video the second song but Joren was cracking me up so much I could not hold the camera steady. He is such a goofball!
Juni wore a beautiful dress from her Aunt Amy that her cousins wore for their blessings. Our dear friend Debbe Lavely made a beautiful white crocheted hat to marching the little booties I had. She even found a button to match exactly. Debbe has become a very special part of our lives. She loves our boys so much and treats them like grand kids. Last week we sang "Till We Meet" in sacrament meeting while i sat next to Debbe sand I cried through the whole thing.
It was also special that Pat and John were able to be here for her blessing. It gives me a taste of what it will be like to be near family and I love it!