It's the end of the weekend and I am so out of patience. I am so glad my kids are going to school tomorrow. I love their teachers. I want to give them big hugs for taking care of my kids all day every weekday because I don't think I could do it tomorrow. I'm dreading the summer. I want to tear my hair out right now. On Saturday I kept telling my kids, "I love Saturdays because I get to spend so much time with you, and all day I tried to help us all enjoy each other's company so much. I tried. We worked hard. We had fun. I stayed cool all weekend, until now, and I am done and exhausted. They wear me out. They are finally in their beds and oh what sweet relief.
Joren has the gimme's and asks for things he wants non stop. In fact, there isn't much out of his mouth that does not start with "I want." He wants unreasonable things like a working jet pack or a a safe or a hammock or a squid launcher. He gets an idea and won't give it up for weeks. When I try to make what he wants, it's never good enough and he says he hates it and throws it away so I have stopped helping him with his never ending project ideas because he won't listen to any of my suggestions and whatever I do is never good enough. He also won't stop hanging on, jumping on, running into and badgering people. There aren't any words or punishments to make him stop being so physical. He doesn't necessarily hurt anyone, he just has to be on us all the time. He is worse with everyone else besides me because with my big belly, I just won't tolerate it and I get mean if he gets near my belly with his unpredictability.
Teig won't take naps on the weekends when his brothers are home so by Sunday night he is a crying banshee. He has to do everything by himself and if you try to do it for him or help him he freaks out and won't be consoled.
They are all three good, wonderful nice boys. They don't try to be bad. They are obedient most of the time. They are reasonable. Eirik is so sensitive and kind (when he's not being a maniacal tease), and so incredibly smart. He was memorizing morse code on his own today. I had planned to make a nice dinner today and the day just went weird and I knew that no one was going to enjoy the food I had planned (except me), so I served yogurt, granola and fruit. After our meal, Eirik said, "that was dinner? Usually we have some big boquet to eat." I thought that was funny. I missed having grilled tilapia with black bean and corn salsa, but I was the only one. They all like granola. Teig is so articulate. When he is upset, at only two years old, he can verbalize what he is upset about. I think its remarkable. If his brothers say he is doing something they don't like, he immediately explains what he is doing, "I only looking!" or "I not break it!" or "I only try a yittle." He's a great little brother and super fun. We did dance break today and they were all really cute doing all their awesome moves. Joren gave a talk in primary about all of Gods creations. He told his primary how he loves to collect nature things like bones and sticks and rocks and geodes. He loves to build things and cut trees and collect insects. He loves to explore and study prehistoric and living animals and he listed his favorites. (all predators). Then he said he was thankful for all God's creations. By the end of the talk he was doing silly moves and barely paying attention and saying his words in silly voices, but he did fine.
Paul was great today. He kept his patience more than me. Sundays are hard because there is so much you "can't" do that it is hard to find things that we "can" do. I have read some great articles with great ideas, but I have yet to establish some traditions that really work well for us. We try games, we try letters, crafts, delivering goodies, a nice meal, skyping, phone calls, naps, and nature shows, but I think that about exhausts our creativity and it's never enough for long Sunday afternoons. Luckily legos seem to be picking up speed around here and hopefully they will stay around as time killers. We ended up taking a 2 hour drive to a ladies house who used to be in the ward this evening just to have something to do. She gave us lots of big boxes for our move. It was really nice of her. We feel like we are always the recipients of very generous people.
My irritability is probably not from my great family, but just my own problem. The kids were especially annoying today, but only because I am 9 months pregnant, uncomfortable, sick of winter and trying to feel present instead of playing the waiting game.
It will come soon enough. I need more patience!
Sunday, February 24, 2013
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Eirik's primary talk- Jan 2013
Being honest is telling the truth.
One day in school I was jealous because in the boxtops prizes there were cool looking bradcelets. You could pull them apart and they would have a a pen inside. The pen looked like a really cool pick-lock. I didn't have any boxtops, but I sure wanted one of those pens/ picklocks. That day, in the art room, we used wooden sticks that looked like pick-locks on our project. Our teacher asked us if we found any extras. If we did, we should give them back to her. Instead of giving the pick-locks back to the teacher, I kept them. This was stealing and dishonest. When I got home, I felt sorry. I did the wrong thing. I told my mom I had the pick-locks in my pocket. We talked about it and the next day, I broth them back before music. The teacher was really glad. I felt so much better. I learned to be honest and not to steal. I am glad I brought them back. I will never steal again. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
One day in school I was jealous because in the boxtops prizes there were cool looking bradcelets. You could pull them apart and they would have a a pen inside. The pen looked like a really cool pick-lock. I didn't have any boxtops, but I sure wanted one of those pens/ picklocks. That day, in the art room, we used wooden sticks that looked like pick-locks on our project. Our teacher asked us if we found any extras. If we did, we should give them back to her. Instead of giving the pick-locks back to the teacher, I kept them. This was stealing and dishonest. When I got home, I felt sorry. I did the wrong thing. I told my mom I had the pick-locks in my pocket. We talked about it and the next day, I broth them back before music. The teacher was really glad. I felt so much better. I learned to be honest and not to steal. I am glad I brought them back. I will never steal again. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
Sunday, February 17, 2013
Valentines day
This year Paul and I went out to Texas Roadhouse for dinner. Paul was prepared to drive me up to this fancy Thai food place because I have been talking about Thai soup for months, but it was an hour away and there was a fresh coat of snow on the road and Paul had missed a 20 car pile up on the freeway on his way home from work by one exit so neither of us felt much like driving far. Paul has been sick and Friday he was feeling terrible but, of course, he did not let on through all of dinner just how miserable he felt. He told me that having my trust was one of his most prized possessions. He said he wished he could somehow get inside my head and show me how much he loves me. He told me that he feels joy in helping me be the best I can be and helping me achieve my dreams. He said cultivating our relationship and growing together is one of his favorite things. And to top it off, he said that he wants to die before me so he can go ahead and make sure everything is beautiful and prepared for me. So, did I have a food Valentines day? Well I think I'm the luckiest girl in the whole world. He always thinks he needs to buy me gifts so he bought me a gardenia plant a 3 Skor bars, which I love, but just having his devotion is the greatest gift I could ever want in this life. He is constantly teaching me how to be a better person and how to love more fully. He has such a huge loving heart and I only strive every day to try to be worthy of him. Sometimes the only way I don't get intimidated about being his wife is that the Lord told me I could have him. I am so blessed. I love you Paul!
Moms with daughters club
This week I got a package in the mail that blew my mind. One of my longtime besties made Juniper a dress out of this sensational fabric that I adore AND a matching doll. When I opened it I had to cry through laughter/ laugh through tears for the first few minutes. I was first so touched by the selflessness of the gift from my friend who I have not even seen in over 5 years, and second by the absolute awesomeness of the gift. She made it exactly to my taste. And third, it made the arrival of a little girl in my life more real than ever. I felt like I am suddenly in the mom's with daughters club. I get to now have dolls in my house and take my daughter shopping and make girly crafts and have someone who might like being in the kitchen with me. I love my boys and they are my heart, but man, I tell ya, I'm glad they have a great dad because I don't roughhouse well with them, I don't understand the constant need to have a weapon in my hand or be ready for hunting or war at a moments notice. I do my best to be outdoorsy and all about sports, but like I said, they are lucky to have a dad because this girly girl does not get it and I hope this daughter of mine will be a little more on my page so I don't always feel like the strange one in my home. today before we all settled down in our tent for reading and bedtime my sweet boys all joined me around the rabble and they each made Jumiper a felt doll to give her when she is born.
Our dear Juniper, your arrival could not be more fondly anticipated! We love you already so much!
And Emily, I can't thank you enough for your wonderful gift. You are a true friend.
Our dear Juniper, your arrival could not be more fondly anticipated! We love you already so much!
And Emily, I can't thank you enough for your wonderful gift. You are a true friend.
Upon my heart...
Teig is at the cutest age. He's so cute sometimes you just can't hug and squeeze him enough. He is obsessed with candy and asks for what he wants in the cutest way that it makes it hard to always be the responsible parent. Today Paul made Teig sign this contract with him that sort of sums it up.
Cabellas
The topic of Eiriks birthday has been in the air for weeks. His ideas of the perfect birthday have fluctuated from mini to grandiose and the most recent fixation has been a family camping trip. Tears were brought on by the sad reality that at his birthday, mom will probably be in he hospital or ready to go in at the least. Also, the reminder that there will likely still be snow in the ground brought a new wave of frustration. Paul had the great idea to take the boys to Cabellas for an "Eiriks birthday" shopping trip. Eirik made a list of wants:
Eiriks birthday:
1 Lantern
2 Grown man tent
3 Camo hunting outfit
4 Mess kit
5 Bow and arrow
Sling shot- make with dad
Fishing pole and gear- gather in garage
On the morning of our planned shopping trip we got a surprise check in the mail of inheritance money from Grandma Edna's brother for $2000. Paul decided it was time to get those awesome fly fishing waders, boots and reel he has always wanted, and we also invested in a great big 6 person, family sized tent and a sweet bow and arrow for Eirik. Teig picked out a stuffed shark that we all loved and Joren got rope and a lantern. Since Paul's grandpa taught him how to fish, it seemed appropriate to spend the money on fishing and camping gear. The whole family is really excited to start doing more outdoor adventuring. In fact, they were all so excited that we set up our huge new tent on our living room today and the boys and I all read books by the fire tonight from inside our new tent. Cozy and warm. We finished the book "Hatchet". Eirik is still not happy that we won't be getting out in nature for a camping trip until April, but our indoor camping has taken some of the sting off and set us up for some good 3 day weekend fun. These boys are such good kids. We love them so much!!
Eiriks birthday:
1 Lantern
2 Grown man tent
3 Camo hunting outfit
4 Mess kit
5 Bow and arrow
Sling shot- make with dad
Fishing pole and gear- gather in garage
On the morning of our planned shopping trip we got a surprise check in the mail of inheritance money from Grandma Edna's brother for $2000. Paul decided it was time to get those awesome fly fishing waders, boots and reel he has always wanted, and we also invested in a great big 6 person, family sized tent and a sweet bow and arrow for Eirik. Teig picked out a stuffed shark that we all loved and Joren got rope and a lantern. Since Paul's grandpa taught him how to fish, it seemed appropriate to spend the money on fishing and camping gear. The whole family is really excited to start doing more outdoor adventuring. In fact, they were all so excited that we set up our huge new tent on our living room today and the boys and I all read books by the fire tonight from inside our new tent. Cozy and warm. We finished the book "Hatchet". Eirik is still not happy that we won't be getting out in nature for a camping trip until April, but our indoor camping has taken some of the sting off and set us up for some good 3 day weekend fun. These boys are such good kids. We love them so much!!
Granada Edna
On Valentines day we got a call from Patty to let us know that Grandma Edna Aanderud had passed away. Earlier that day I had been looking at our family history charts and studying the names in Edna's family line. Edna was a good woman who lived a long full life. She was 94 this year. Unfortunately, I asked Paul not to attend her graveside service since I am less than three weeks from our due date and I am already starting to dilate. I feel bad that he won't be there but we would both feel even worse if he missed the birth of his daughter. All of Paul's siblings have spent a lot of time on the phone sharing memories of their Grandma and here are some that we wrote down:
"Sneaches on the beach, lawn darts while sipping 7-up, mini bowling after a game of rumicubes, spooky old pants with nobody inside them, stinking like cigarettes after weekend visits, drinking fermented grape juice I mean wine, climbing apple trees, being timed as you ran around the house, for beef sandwiches with horse radish sauce, watching birds and night rider, looking at the old black and white pictures of dad, picking plums and apples, hanging out with Maxine and Joe and crazy manly Mary from across the street, being loved" Zach
"I agree with the above from Zack. Also talking about WWII, living in north Dakota, hanging out with Harriet and Vern. Loving us unconditionally. " Jeanette
"And croquet, $2 at 7-11, Macaroni and cheese, overnighters to escape, mowing the lawn, the willow tree, the Mackenzie river fishing trips, frosted animal cookies, those glass blue birds and the mustang painting. Cross word puzzles, puzzles in general. Her love of her family. Her patience with Mary, her live of god, dealing so gracefully with trigeminal neuralgia, romance novels, alarm clocks, going to Fred Meyer and casinos... I could keep going" Paul
"Sneaches on the beach, lawn darts while sipping 7-up, mini bowling after a game of rumicubes, spooky old pants with nobody inside them, stinking like cigarettes after weekend visits, drinking fermented grape juice I mean wine, climbing apple trees, being timed as you ran around the house, for beef sandwiches with horse radish sauce, watching birds and night rider, looking at the old black and white pictures of dad, picking plums and apples, hanging out with Maxine and Joe and crazy manly Mary from across the street, being loved" Zach
"I agree with the above from Zack. Also talking about WWII, living in north Dakota, hanging out with Harriet and Vern. Loving us unconditionally. " Jeanette
"And croquet, $2 at 7-11, Macaroni and cheese, overnighters to escape, mowing the lawn, the willow tree, the Mackenzie river fishing trips, frosted animal cookies, those glass blue birds and the mustang painting. Cross word puzzles, puzzles in general. Her love of her family. Her patience with Mary, her live of god, dealing so gracefully with trigeminal neuralgia, romance novels, alarm clocks, going to Fred Meyer and casinos... I could keep going" Paul
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Skate park
The boys have been cooped up inside way too much. Joren was dying to try his new skateboard on the ramps. He was pretty disappointed that it was harder than he thought but I think he will keep it up. We all had a good time.
Every Knee Shall Bow
I finally finished this painting that i have procrastinated forever! I tried to make the designs in the stripes all symbolic. What do you think?
Getting ready for valentines day
I feel like I am in the long stretch now. 5 weeks until my due date seems like a million years. Juniper is very active. Which means she never stops squirming. I think she wants to come out as much as I want her to. I held a newborn at a baby shower the other day and got even more excited. I just can't wait to have her in my arms, (and get my body back). I feel like a cripple hobbling uncomfortably around. I started wearing Paul's sweats last week an have barely taken them off. I have nothing else that does not hurt to wear. My hips just hurt. I can't imagine how hard it would be to have to carry around a lot of extra weight all the time. I have a lot more empathy now. I just keep telling myself that this is the last month of my life that I will be pregnant and to enjoy this amazing (painful) journey.
I have been trying to plan fun things I have to do every week to make the time pass faster. I threw a birthday party luncheon for my friend Britni last week. I worked like crazy to get this house clean and pretty. It was so nice to reclaim my house for a moment. It's impossible to think I can keep it clean like that for long. I tried for a few days after the party and realized I was killing myself and resenting my family so life went back to a less stringent standard. It makes me feel like a failure but I have to let it go or go crazy. It was fun to have so many of my friends come over for the party and the food was very tasty. I made this delicious chocolate cake which I can't wait to make again.
Decorating for valentines day is always fun. I love our mailboxes. The kids think I should put something in them everyday. That's some pressure but how fun to exchange love notes for two weeks. My Joren told me last night that he would never love me less. Teig tells me every night "I wuv ooo o much mom" he is delightful in everyday right now. Really , he could not be more amiable, kind, easily entreated, tidy, reasonable, considerate and cute. I never imagined a 2 year old could ever be so fun to be around. I am so lucky. And, our awesome little Teig is mostly potty trained this week. We are on our 4th day and no accidents yesterday. I am so proud of him. His brothers told him that his underwear are called super dupes. He never wants to get his super dupes wet. So cute!
I have been trying to plan fun things I have to do every week to make the time pass faster. I threw a birthday party luncheon for my friend Britni last week. I worked like crazy to get this house clean and pretty. It was so nice to reclaim my house for a moment. It's impossible to think I can keep it clean like that for long. I tried for a few days after the party and realized I was killing myself and resenting my family so life went back to a less stringent standard. It makes me feel like a failure but I have to let it go or go crazy. It was fun to have so many of my friends come over for the party and the food was very tasty. I made this delicious chocolate cake which I can't wait to make again.
Decorating for valentines day is always fun. I love our mailboxes. The kids think I should put something in them everyday. That's some pressure but how fun to exchange love notes for two weeks. My Joren told me last night that he would never love me less. Teig tells me every night "I wuv ooo o much mom" he is delightful in everyday right now. Really , he could not be more amiable, kind, easily entreated, tidy, reasonable, considerate and cute. I never imagined a 2 year old could ever be so fun to be around. I am so lucky. And, our awesome little Teig is mostly potty trained this week. We are on our 4th day and no accidents yesterday. I am so proud of him. His brothers told him that his underwear are called super dupes. He never wants to get his super dupes wet. So cute!
Saturday, January 19, 2013
Living in the Moment
48 days until I hold baby Juni (or thereabout), and 151 days until we load the moving truck... but who's counting right?
When we thought we were moving our practice, we had so much to plan ahead for that we were full speed planning. I did not want to have to be sorting things and doing big home projects with a brand new baby and all kinds of business in Oregon to perform at the last minute, so I got into planning and doing gear EARLY. Probably too early because now I am seriously preoccupied. 5 days ago the moving process became so much more simple and manageable, but my mind is already spinning with nesting, sorting, stocking up, getting rid of, packing the truck in my mind, while getting ready to have a baby. Stuff. and more stuff. Stuff that is not that important, but becomes such a big headache when I am consumed with it.
My garage is getting stuffed with the things from my house that we are leaving or selling in a few months. I am trying to use up our food storage and sort through all the clothes and go through cupboards and toys and weed our loads of stuff down to a much smaller load. We do want to fit it all in one truck. When we moved here we fit in an apartment and had one baby. Now we have 4 kids and a dog and a huge fish tank and a huge TV, and a motorcycle and tons more kid stuff. We are giving away a lot of our furniture.. .like most of it. We found a really wonderful family that might rent our house, which means they would get our play structure and the slide we built in the basement, and I would not have to repaint the mural in the kids room. Not to mention, I will not have to show the house to prospective buyers starting in March when I will be having a baby, which my landlord will have me do if we do not find renters. Possible, but not fun! If they do rent our house, it will be a great blessing and relief! Every day I look around my house and think; how did we get so much stuff??? And then my boys beg Paul to take them to the dollar store. Ahhh. No more stuff! (But just when I think we can not get one more thing, I think of 10 more things we really could use.. like some baby girl clothes, a pair of sweat pants for my bulging body, shampoo, mascara, an onion... you know how the list builds, and off I go to the store. I limit myself. I go to the store Monday morning for groceries and perhaps a trip to Michaels or Home Depot or the pet store during the week. Target once a month for diapers, and a clothing store maybe once every other month. I am not a shopper. I actually don't get out much. I don't feel like I spend much on shopping, but how do we have so much stuff??
Anyway, I am trying to live in the moment and not let the next 151 days be all about thinking about that truck and that house we might buy and how I will never live in wonderful MI again. The days pass one at a time as I try to ignore this torrential river of emotion surrounding this big move. I am trying to spend a lot of time with my close friends, knowing I will miss them so much. I know I will never be with so many other medical school wives that have been such a comfort and support to me. I guess I won't go in that direction. Listen to me, I'm already mourning and I have 151 days to enjoy living near them.
All of this medical school process should have taught me one thing: to trust the Lord, and I still fill myself up with anxiety about unnecessary things. So what if it does not all fit in the truck. Who cares. We will leave some things behind that we did not plan to, strap some things on the van and no big deal. I will keep in touch with my friends. Many of them call Utah home base and we will see each other there. There are no real goodbyes anyway. We will all make new friends. We will have a great trip across the country this summer. It will be a vacation. We will not race there, but enjoy a long journey across the beautiful United States. We have been approved for loans that now far exceed our needs since we are not building out the space, and we are confident we will be able to pay them back rather quickly. So why stress about a dollar here or there? In the end it is the love we show that counts, not the pennies saved or the stuff we got to take. I want everything packed just right, but if it all gets thrown in haphazard, why is that so bad? Why should that give me nightmares. It's just stuff. The Lord will provide. If we lost it all, the Lord would provide. I know that is true. I must stop worrying. I promise right now that I will not start packing a month early. That is ridiculous. I want to, but I will not. I will not. I guess I will have to keep telling myself that. Do I need another project to keep me busy, to stop me from obsessing about this move???? :)
When we thought we were moving our practice, we had so much to plan ahead for that we were full speed planning. I did not want to have to be sorting things and doing big home projects with a brand new baby and all kinds of business in Oregon to perform at the last minute, so I got into planning and doing gear EARLY. Probably too early because now I am seriously preoccupied. 5 days ago the moving process became so much more simple and manageable, but my mind is already spinning with nesting, sorting, stocking up, getting rid of, packing the truck in my mind, while getting ready to have a baby. Stuff. and more stuff. Stuff that is not that important, but becomes such a big headache when I am consumed with it.
My garage is getting stuffed with the things from my house that we are leaving or selling in a few months. I am trying to use up our food storage and sort through all the clothes and go through cupboards and toys and weed our loads of stuff down to a much smaller load. We do want to fit it all in one truck. When we moved here we fit in an apartment and had one baby. Now we have 4 kids and a dog and a huge fish tank and a huge TV, and a motorcycle and tons more kid stuff. We are giving away a lot of our furniture.. .like most of it. We found a really wonderful family that might rent our house, which means they would get our play structure and the slide we built in the basement, and I would not have to repaint the mural in the kids room. Not to mention, I will not have to show the house to prospective buyers starting in March when I will be having a baby, which my landlord will have me do if we do not find renters. Possible, but not fun! If they do rent our house, it will be a great blessing and relief! Every day I look around my house and think; how did we get so much stuff??? And then my boys beg Paul to take them to the dollar store. Ahhh. No more stuff! (But just when I think we can not get one more thing, I think of 10 more things we really could use.. like some baby girl clothes, a pair of sweat pants for my bulging body, shampoo, mascara, an onion... you know how the list builds, and off I go to the store. I limit myself. I go to the store Monday morning for groceries and perhaps a trip to Michaels or Home Depot or the pet store during the week. Target once a month for diapers, and a clothing store maybe once every other month. I am not a shopper. I actually don't get out much. I don't feel like I spend much on shopping, but how do we have so much stuff??
Anyway, I am trying to live in the moment and not let the next 151 days be all about thinking about that truck and that house we might buy and how I will never live in wonderful MI again. The days pass one at a time as I try to ignore this torrential river of emotion surrounding this big move. I am trying to spend a lot of time with my close friends, knowing I will miss them so much. I know I will never be with so many other medical school wives that have been such a comfort and support to me. I guess I won't go in that direction. Listen to me, I'm already mourning and I have 151 days to enjoy living near them.
All of this medical school process should have taught me one thing: to trust the Lord, and I still fill myself up with anxiety about unnecessary things. So what if it does not all fit in the truck. Who cares. We will leave some things behind that we did not plan to, strap some things on the van and no big deal. I will keep in touch with my friends. Many of them call Utah home base and we will see each other there. There are no real goodbyes anyway. We will all make new friends. We will have a great trip across the country this summer. It will be a vacation. We will not race there, but enjoy a long journey across the beautiful United States. We have been approved for loans that now far exceed our needs since we are not building out the space, and we are confident we will be able to pay them back rather quickly. So why stress about a dollar here or there? In the end it is the love we show that counts, not the pennies saved or the stuff we got to take. I want everything packed just right, but if it all gets thrown in haphazard, why is that so bad? Why should that give me nightmares. It's just stuff. The Lord will provide. If we lost it all, the Lord would provide. I know that is true. I must stop worrying. I promise right now that I will not start packing a month early. That is ridiculous. I want to, but I will not. I will not. I guess I will have to keep telling myself that. Do I need another project to keep me busy, to stop me from obsessing about this move???? :)
No such thing as LUCK.
I have not journaled anything in so long that I feel out of practice. I probably should do a brief catch up on the events of the past few months. I am 33 weeks pregnant with our little Juniper Gayle. She moves and squirms and kicks constantly, keeping my mind always preoccupied with my excitement for her arrival. 48 days and counting to her due date of March 8th. Is it unusual that her due date is Eirik's birthday? When we told Eirik, he responded like a true gentleman. He said, "what better birthday gift could I ask for than a new sister? Then he planned his birthday party to be a baby party with pictures of newborns all over and party favors all about babies. Since that declaration 5 months ago he might have slightly changed his tune, but all three boys are gripped with excitement to have a sister. Teig loves to lift my shirt and say "Hi baby Juni!"
My third trimester has been surprisingly good. Since I discovered a sleeping trick, I have been able to wake up without my hips giving in to the first several steps which has been a great blessing. I wear out more quickly and take it easy, but I have little pain and I have been in very good spirits, especially considering that it is Jan 19th, a typically hard month for me.
We have had another extremely mild winter so far. We had a brief snowfall on the eve of Christmas, and one slightly larger one the first week of Janurary where we were able to build a snowman and make angels, but it melted fast and we even had a weekend of 40 degree sunny weather after that. There has been quite a bit of sun.
I am growing my hair out. It's quite long for me at almost shoulder length. I spend a good deal of time trying to make it look fuller and not stringy, but I am pleased that with effort it looks better than I ever thought longish hair could look on me. I feel more feminine, which is fun, especially with a baby girl on the way.
My friend Jen Johnson gave me 4 big bags of baby girl clothes last night. What a blessing! I have bought a few things at mom2mom sales, but only one new article of clothing so far. I have such an aversion to light pink that I have struggled even finding newborn things I actually like very much for a girl. I get excited about dressing her when I think of cream and white and neutral and grey colored ruffles in abundance. Maybe some accents of mustard and turqouise in small amounts. That's pretty much as "typically feminine" as I can get at this point. My poor Juni; she will want pink and I will say, "sorry, it doesn't come in pink." Sorry, little Juni, mommy is mean and does not like that yucky color. Why oh why am I so difficult? I wish I could spend my time sewing her lots of ruffled things, but I am not yet at that point. My time has been occupied with the exciting move to Oregon in our near future. At this point, I need to do a recap of all the events of our relocation drama.
We began deciding where to move last Jan. We decided, after scrupulous searching, prayer and hesitation (on my part) to select Oregon. I had to take a few months to mourn the realization that I would never live near my mom and dad unless they move to me. I hate it, and vow to visit Utah regularly from the move on. Next, Paul went to Oregon to meet with several doctors that were considering selling their practices. We selected 2 to try to purchase. After more study, we decided to purchase just one, Dr. Goodkin's practice in Clackamas, Or. We learned that if we wanted his practice, we would have to move it to a new location that we would have to build out. His lease would be up on June 1st. Paul's residency would not be over until July 1st. We would have to purchase the practice in Feb. in order to get a loan in time to sign a lease on a new space and begin building it out to fit our new practice by May 20, when we would fly out and move the practice over. from Feb to July, we would be in charge of all the finances of the business and we would be paying Dr. Goodkin to run the practice while we lived 35 driving hours away. In June, after the practice was moved, Dr. Goodkin would have to continue to run the practice for another month, while Paul finished his residency. The accounting was to determine the purchase price, reimbursements for Dr. Goodkin's time, tax complications, and all the other legal details was a nightmare, but we proceeded. We found a great space in the building adjacent to Dr. Goodkin's. Paul and I flew to OR together in November and we met with the leasing agency, several banks about a loan, a builder and an architect that we had selected, and we began the design process. I presented all the materials and the look and feel of the office along with about 6 floorplan models we had come up with to the architect. He took a couple days to present a floorplan that we adjusted several times until we were pleased with it. I got to work on all the finish drawings and planning the cabinetry, selecting hardware, lighting and signage. We began working on a new logo. Things were progressing, but we became frustrated by all the difficulties settling on a purchase agreement. Our lawyer fees began to be (in my opinion) enormous as we debated back and forth. The leasing agency seemed to be dragging their feet and we could not seem to get any documents signed. Several times during the process, we began to feel that we were on the wrong track and wondered if we should pull out. Then in mid December, we got a very surprising email from the leasing agency telling us that Clackamas county, that had been planning to take over the existing Goodskin Dermatology space, was hesitating to sign the documents and that there was a very small chance that we might actually be able to stay in the current location. They reiterated that it was a very small chance, but that we should know the possibility before we proceeded. We were faced with the question of proceeding with architectual drawings/ fees, building fees and lawyer fees, or asking everyone to stop progress and wait with us, just on the off chance that we could stay which could put us behind and delay our move date. We decided to hold the reins and wait. Waiting was difficult. Each day we worried that we were delaying too long. Jan 11 was supposed to be the date we would know by, but it came and went. Then on Jan 14 we finally got the call, and the news was great! We could stay! Up until the last minute we thought we might still move. After all, the new space was going to be beautiful. We had it planned down to small details. We were excited about it and felt it gave us a wonderful fresh start. There were lots of advantages to the new space, especially more exam rooms and a better aesthetician's area. But, when we realized how much money we could save and with that money saved, we could feel comfortable enough to consider buying a house, we both thought that would be a lot better. We were able to negotiate some TI money to remodel the existing space so we still get to use all the materials we chose. We both breathed huge sighs of relief. Not only did we not have to do a buildout, but we did not have to get the loan so early, or purchase and own the practice before we actually live in Oregon. And, now we can buy a house! It's amazing and we feel so blessed! We can move mid June and have a couple of weeks to get settled before Paul gets to start being the owner and boss of our own business full time! We still have so much to do to prepare, but now we feel like we can do it with ease compared to the pressure of the first plan.
When Paul and I went to Oregon in November I went a day earlier than he did because he had a test in San Diego. On that day, Jeanette and Patty drove me all around the city. I got to see a lot of the areas that I had not seen before. When Paul flew in that night I told him I thought we ought to look at West Linn because of its proximity to the practice and to our family. I would like to live in the neighborhood where Ben and Kim live. I would like to live next door to Pat and John, but both Paul and I have grown tired of a 1 hour each way commute. West Linn is 20-30 min from his work and 20-30 min from our family. We said a prayer the next morning as we made our plans for the day. In the prayer I told Heavenly Father that we thought we ought to check out the West Linn ward that day. The minute I said the words, "West Linn", we both were overcome with the spirit. It was one of the clearest spiritual messages I have ever received. Paul said, "well that settles it. We will move to West Linn." We went to the ward that day and after sacrament meeting the bishop and the Relief Society president found us right away and welcomed us and answered all of our questions. If we have been unsure about other decisions along the way, at least we can feel sure about this one decision.
Paul has liked the idea of West Linn since early last year and I have had objections to it because of its reputation. It is a very well off area. The homes are large. The schools are some of the best in the country. In all truth, it is a dreamy place to live. I will admit it, I fear prosperity. I fear abundance. I abhor waist and excess when so many in the world have nothing. Living in an area that is one of the richest cities in Portland, which is one of the most sought after cities in the country, which is one of the wealthiest countries in the world, makes me nervous. I have always said that raising entitled, ungrateful over consuming children is one of my greatest fears. About this issue, I know I am a bit extreme, I am a bit irrational and a bit crazy. I get really uncomfortable in Costco. I go to my children's classrooms and just cringe as they throw out so much that is untouched, reusable and recyclable. The waist to me is overwhelming. This article states that we throw away 40% of the food we produce in the US. That does not surprise me at all, but it saddens me when so many people are hungry. The waist in our home is more like 5% because I am scrupulous and a bit ridiculous. I want my children to be hard workers, to realize how good they have it, and to be willing to give back to society because they have been given so much. I have to check myself all the time because it causes me to have a tendency to be withholding with my children. The scriptures clearly teach us that God is not withholding, but delights to bless us when we are righteous. I feel like we have been abundantly blessed this year and to not pass on that abundance to my children is a crime. I have not learned the right balance yet. I also just finished reading the Book of Mormon this month which will make anyone double check where they are in the pride cycle if they have any wisdom at all. It only takes one generation of entitled selfishness to lead a people steeply down. The end of the Book of Mormon shows millions of people destroy each other because of their pride and rejection of righteousness and yet Moroni reminds us to have hope and joy and comfort in Christ. In Alma 50: 22 it says: "And those who were faithful in keeping the commandments of the Lord were delivered at all times, whilst thousands of their wicked brethren have been consigned to bondage, or to perish by the sword, or to dwindle in unbelief, and mingle with the Lamanites.
My third trimester has been surprisingly good. Since I discovered a sleeping trick, I have been able to wake up without my hips giving in to the first several steps which has been a great blessing. I wear out more quickly and take it easy, but I have little pain and I have been in very good spirits, especially considering that it is Jan 19th, a typically hard month for me.
We have had another extremely mild winter so far. We had a brief snowfall on the eve of Christmas, and one slightly larger one the first week of Janurary where we were able to build a snowman and make angels, but it melted fast and we even had a weekend of 40 degree sunny weather after that. There has been quite a bit of sun.
I am growing my hair out. It's quite long for me at almost shoulder length. I spend a good deal of time trying to make it look fuller and not stringy, but I am pleased that with effort it looks better than I ever thought longish hair could look on me. I feel more feminine, which is fun, especially with a baby girl on the way.
My friend Jen Johnson gave me 4 big bags of baby girl clothes last night. What a blessing! I have bought a few things at mom2mom sales, but only one new article of clothing so far. I have such an aversion to light pink that I have struggled even finding newborn things I actually like very much for a girl. I get excited about dressing her when I think of cream and white and neutral and grey colored ruffles in abundance. Maybe some accents of mustard and turqouise in small amounts. That's pretty much as "typically feminine" as I can get at this point. My poor Juni; she will want pink and I will say, "sorry, it doesn't come in pink." Sorry, little Juni, mommy is mean and does not like that yucky color. Why oh why am I so difficult? I wish I could spend my time sewing her lots of ruffled things, but I am not yet at that point. My time has been occupied with the exciting move to Oregon in our near future. At this point, I need to do a recap of all the events of our relocation drama.
We began deciding where to move last Jan. We decided, after scrupulous searching, prayer and hesitation (on my part) to select Oregon. I had to take a few months to mourn the realization that I would never live near my mom and dad unless they move to me. I hate it, and vow to visit Utah regularly from the move on. Next, Paul went to Oregon to meet with several doctors that were considering selling their practices. We selected 2 to try to purchase. After more study, we decided to purchase just one, Dr. Goodkin's practice in Clackamas, Or. We learned that if we wanted his practice, we would have to move it to a new location that we would have to build out. His lease would be up on June 1st. Paul's residency would not be over until July 1st. We would have to purchase the practice in Feb. in order to get a loan in time to sign a lease on a new space and begin building it out to fit our new practice by May 20, when we would fly out and move the practice over. from Feb to July, we would be in charge of all the finances of the business and we would be paying Dr. Goodkin to run the practice while we lived 35 driving hours away. In June, after the practice was moved, Dr. Goodkin would have to continue to run the practice for another month, while Paul finished his residency. The accounting was to determine the purchase price, reimbursements for Dr. Goodkin's time, tax complications, and all the other legal details was a nightmare, but we proceeded. We found a great space in the building adjacent to Dr. Goodkin's. Paul and I flew to OR together in November and we met with the leasing agency, several banks about a loan, a builder and an architect that we had selected, and we began the design process. I presented all the materials and the look and feel of the office along with about 6 floorplan models we had come up with to the architect. He took a couple days to present a floorplan that we adjusted several times until we were pleased with it. I got to work on all the finish drawings and planning the cabinetry, selecting hardware, lighting and signage. We began working on a new logo. Things were progressing, but we became frustrated by all the difficulties settling on a purchase agreement. Our lawyer fees began to be (in my opinion) enormous as we debated back and forth. The leasing agency seemed to be dragging their feet and we could not seem to get any documents signed. Several times during the process, we began to feel that we were on the wrong track and wondered if we should pull out. Then in mid December, we got a very surprising email from the leasing agency telling us that Clackamas county, that had been planning to take over the existing Goodskin Dermatology space, was hesitating to sign the documents and that there was a very small chance that we might actually be able to stay in the current location. They reiterated that it was a very small chance, but that we should know the possibility before we proceeded. We were faced with the question of proceeding with architectual drawings/ fees, building fees and lawyer fees, or asking everyone to stop progress and wait with us, just on the off chance that we could stay which could put us behind and delay our move date. We decided to hold the reins and wait. Waiting was difficult. Each day we worried that we were delaying too long. Jan 11 was supposed to be the date we would know by, but it came and went. Then on Jan 14 we finally got the call, and the news was great! We could stay! Up until the last minute we thought we might still move. After all, the new space was going to be beautiful. We had it planned down to small details. We were excited about it and felt it gave us a wonderful fresh start. There were lots of advantages to the new space, especially more exam rooms and a better aesthetician's area. But, when we realized how much money we could save and with that money saved, we could feel comfortable enough to consider buying a house, we both thought that would be a lot better. We were able to negotiate some TI money to remodel the existing space so we still get to use all the materials we chose. We both breathed huge sighs of relief. Not only did we not have to do a buildout, but we did not have to get the loan so early, or purchase and own the practice before we actually live in Oregon. And, now we can buy a house! It's amazing and we feel so blessed! We can move mid June and have a couple of weeks to get settled before Paul gets to start being the owner and boss of our own business full time! We still have so much to do to prepare, but now we feel like we can do it with ease compared to the pressure of the first plan.
When Paul and I went to Oregon in November I went a day earlier than he did because he had a test in San Diego. On that day, Jeanette and Patty drove me all around the city. I got to see a lot of the areas that I had not seen before. When Paul flew in that night I told him I thought we ought to look at West Linn because of its proximity to the practice and to our family. I would like to live in the neighborhood where Ben and Kim live. I would like to live next door to Pat and John, but both Paul and I have grown tired of a 1 hour each way commute. West Linn is 20-30 min from his work and 20-30 min from our family. We said a prayer the next morning as we made our plans for the day. In the prayer I told Heavenly Father that we thought we ought to check out the West Linn ward that day. The minute I said the words, "West Linn", we both were overcome with the spirit. It was one of the clearest spiritual messages I have ever received. Paul said, "well that settles it. We will move to West Linn." We went to the ward that day and after sacrament meeting the bishop and the Relief Society president found us right away and welcomed us and answered all of our questions. If we have been unsure about other decisions along the way, at least we can feel sure about this one decision.
Paul has liked the idea of West Linn since early last year and I have had objections to it because of its reputation. It is a very well off area. The homes are large. The schools are some of the best in the country. In all truth, it is a dreamy place to live. I will admit it, I fear prosperity. I fear abundance. I abhor waist and excess when so many in the world have nothing. Living in an area that is one of the richest cities in Portland, which is one of the most sought after cities in the country, which is one of the wealthiest countries in the world, makes me nervous. I have always said that raising entitled, ungrateful over consuming children is one of my greatest fears. About this issue, I know I am a bit extreme, I am a bit irrational and a bit crazy. I get really uncomfortable in Costco. I go to my children's classrooms and just cringe as they throw out so much that is untouched, reusable and recyclable. The waist to me is overwhelming. This article states that we throw away 40% of the food we produce in the US. That does not surprise me at all, but it saddens me when so many people are hungry. The waist in our home is more like 5% because I am scrupulous and a bit ridiculous. I want my children to be hard workers, to realize how good they have it, and to be willing to give back to society because they have been given so much. I have to check myself all the time because it causes me to have a tendency to be withholding with my children. The scriptures clearly teach us that God is not withholding, but delights to bless us when we are righteous. I feel like we have been abundantly blessed this year and to not pass on that abundance to my children is a crime. I have not learned the right balance yet. I also just finished reading the Book of Mormon this month which will make anyone double check where they are in the pride cycle if they have any wisdom at all. It only takes one generation of entitled selfishness to lead a people steeply down. The end of the Book of Mormon shows millions of people destroy each other because of their pride and rejection of righteousness and yet Moroni reminds us to have hope and joy and comfort in Christ. In Alma 50: 22 it says: "And those who were faithful in keeping the commandments of the Lord were delivered at all times, whilst thousands of their wicked brethren have been consigned to bondage, or to perish by the sword, or to dwindle in unbelief, and mingle with the Lamanites.
23 But behold there never was a ahappier
time among the people of Nephi, since the days of Nephi, than in the
days of Moroni, yea, even at this time, in the twenty and first year of
the reign of the judges."
I have to remember that being prosperous does not mean wickedness, it means happiness. We just have to remain in a state of righteousness. Just like poverty does not mean wickedness or righteousness, prosperity does not always mean wickedness. I have to get this straight in my head. I think of wealth as a sin sometimes because of all those that don't have it and suffer. To be wealthy when others are not feels wrong. I guess that's why God created the law of consecration and I will be so glad to live it one day. Until then, I hope I can learn to be more generous and kind, to not hoard away money and goods because of a fear of scarcity and unrest. I want to be prepared, but not afraid. I want to live in West Linn, but take my children to work in orphanages in underprivileged countries and make them read a lot and give to those who need freely. I look forward to having more to give and doing lots of good with the money that we bring in. I hope we can be a real force for good.
To prepare to be the owner of his own practice, Paul has been pouring over business and leadership books. He is always with book in hand. He is a fine leader now, but I know he will only continue to improve. He has a great desire to be good and I respect him tremendously. We have grown a lot as a couple this year.
Paul took his mock board exams a few months ago. He scored second best in the whole country! I am so proud of him. His program director told Paul he was the luckiest ___ in the world. It was not the kind of comment meant to make Paul feel good, rather, it he had malicious intentions, as usual. Paul has learned to let these comments slide off his back, but this was sliding slowly when a card from my mom and dad came in the mail to congratulate Paul on his great success. My parents had not heard about the luck comment, but had independently chosen a Star Wars card that talks to you when it opens and it says, "In my estimation, there is no such thing as LUCK!" It made both of us tear up at its appropriateness to the moment and it's kindness. I know there is no such thing as luck. Paul has worked so hard and has earned the companionship of the spirit and we have been blessed by the Lord. There has been no luck in this process, just a LOT of hard work and abundant blessings.
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Bear story
"Can I tell you a story about a bear? Upon a time ver was a bear in your room and it was dark in ver. Ve bear said roar and you poked vem in ve eye! Bears eat fish and evryfing. Now it's bedtime. Goodnight." Teig
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)