No such thing as LUCK.

I have not journaled anything in so long that I feel out of practice.  I probably should do a brief catch up on the events of the past few months.  I am 33 weeks pregnant with our little Juniper Gayle.  She moves and squirms and kicks constantly, keeping my mind always preoccupied with my excitement for her arrival.  48 days and counting to her due date of March 8th.  Is it unusual that her due date is Eirik's birthday?  When we told Eirik, he responded like a true gentleman.  He said, "what better birthday gift could I ask for than a new sister?  Then he planned his birthday party to be a baby party with pictures of newborns all over and party favors all about babies.  Since that declaration 5 months ago he might have slightly changed his tune, but all three boys are gripped with excitement to have a sister.  Teig loves to lift my shirt and say "Hi baby Juni!" 
My third trimester has been surprisingly good.  Since I discovered a sleeping trick, I have been able to wake up without my hips giving in to the first several steps which has been a great blessing.  I wear out more quickly and take it easy, but I have little pain and I have been in very good spirits, especially considering that it is Jan 19th, a typically hard month for me. 
We have had another extremely mild winter so far.  We had a brief snowfall on the eve of Christmas, and one slightly larger one the first week of Janurary where we were able to build a snowman and make angels, but it melted fast and we even had a weekend of 40 degree sunny weather after that.  There has been quite a bit of sun.





 
I am growing my hair out.  It's quite long for me at almost shoulder length.  I spend a good deal of time trying to make it look fuller and not stringy, but I am pleased that with effort it looks better than I ever thought longish hair could look on me.  I feel more feminine, which is fun, especially with a baby girl on the way. 
My friend Jen Johnson gave me 4 big bags of baby girl clothes last night.  What a blessing!  I have bought a few things at mom2mom sales, but only one new article of clothing so far.  I have such an aversion to light pink that I have struggled even finding newborn things I actually like very much for a girl.  I get excited about dressing her when I think of cream and white and neutral and grey colored ruffles in abundance.  Maybe some accents of mustard and turqouise in small amounts.  That's pretty much as "typically feminine" as I can get at this point.  My poor Juni; she will want pink and I will say, "sorry, it doesn't come in pink."  Sorry, little Juni, mommy is mean and does not like that yucky color.  Why oh why am I so difficult?  I wish I could spend my time sewing her lots of ruffled things, but I am not yet at that point.  My time has been occupied with the exciting move to Oregon in our near future.  At this point, I need to do a recap of all the events of our relocation drama. 
We began deciding where to move last Jan.  We decided, after scrupulous searching, prayer and hesitation (on my part) to select Oregon.  I had to take a few months to mourn the realization that I would never live near my mom and dad unless they move to me.  I hate it, and vow to visit Utah regularly from the move on.  Next, Paul went to Oregon to meet with several doctors that were considering selling their practices.  We selected 2 to try to purchase.  After more study, we decided to purchase just one, Dr. Goodkin's practice in Clackamas, Or.  We learned that if we wanted his practice, we would have to move it to a new location that we would have to build out.  His lease would be up on June 1st.  Paul's residency would not be over until July 1st.  We would have to purchase the practice in Feb. in order to get a loan in time to sign a lease on a new space and begin building it out to fit our new practice by May 20, when we would fly out and move the practice over.  from Feb to July, we would be in charge of all the finances of the business and we would be paying Dr. Goodkin to run the practice while we lived 35 driving hours away.  In June, after the practice was moved, Dr. Goodkin would have to continue to run the practice for another month, while Paul finished his residency.  The accounting was to determine the purchase price, reimbursements for Dr. Goodkin's time, tax complications, and all the other legal details was a nightmare, but we proceeded.  We found a great space in the building adjacent to Dr. Goodkin's.  Paul and I flew to OR together in November and we met with the leasing agency, several banks about a loan, a builder and an architect that we had selected, and we began the design process.  I presented all the materials and the look and feel of the office along with about 6 floorplan models we had come up with to the architect.  He took a couple days to present a floorplan that we adjusted several times until we were pleased with it.  I got to work on all the finish drawings and planning the cabinetry, selecting hardware, lighting and signage.  We began working on a new logo.  Things were progressing, but we became frustrated by all the difficulties settling on a purchase agreement.  Our lawyer fees began to be (in my opinion) enormous as we debated back and forth.  The leasing agency seemed to be dragging their feet and we could not seem to get any documents signed.  Several times during the process, we began to feel that we were on the wrong track and wondered if we should pull out.  Then in mid December, we got a very surprising email from the leasing agency telling us that Clackamas county, that had been planning to take over the existing Goodskin Dermatology space, was hesitating to sign the documents and that there was a very small chance that we might actually be able to stay in the current location.  They reiterated that it was a very small chance, but that we should know the possibility before we proceeded.  We were faced with the question of proceeding with architectual drawings/ fees, building fees and lawyer fees, or asking everyone to stop progress and wait with us, just on the off chance that we could stay which could put us behind and delay our move date.  We decided to hold the reins and wait.  Waiting was difficult.  Each day we worried that we were delaying too long.  Jan 11 was supposed to be the date we would know by, but it came and went.  Then on Jan 14 we finally got the call, and the news was great!  We could stay!  Up until the last minute we thought we might still move.  After all, the new space was going to be beautiful.  We had it planned down to small details.  We were excited about it and felt it gave us a wonderful fresh start.  There were lots of advantages to the new space, especially more exam rooms and a better aesthetician's area.  But, when we realized how much money we could save and with that money saved, we could feel comfortable enough to consider buying a house, we both thought that would be a lot better.  We were able to negotiate some TI money to remodel the existing space so we still get to use all the materials we chose.  We both breathed huge sighs of relief.  Not only did we not have to do a buildout, but we did not have to get the loan so early, or purchase and own the practice before we actually live in Oregon.  And, now we can buy a house!  It's amazing and we feel so blessed!  We can move mid June and have a couple of weeks to get settled before Paul gets to start being the owner and boss of our own business full time!  We still have so much to do to prepare, but now we feel like we can do it with ease compared to the pressure of the first plan.
When Paul and I went to Oregon in November I went a day earlier than he did because he had a test in San Diego.  On that day, Jeanette and Patty drove me all around the city.  I got to see a lot of the areas that I had not seen before.  When Paul flew in that night I told him I thought we ought to look at West Linn because of its proximity to the practice and to our family.  I would like to live in the neighborhood where Ben and Kim live.  I would like to live next door to Pat and John, but both Paul and I have grown tired of a 1 hour each way commute.  West Linn is 20-30 min from his work and 20-30 min from our family.  We said a prayer the next morning as we made our plans for the day.  In the prayer I told Heavenly Father that we thought we ought to check out the West Linn ward that day.  The minute I said the words, "West Linn", we both were overcome with the spirit.  It was one of the clearest spiritual messages I have ever received.  Paul said, "well that settles it.  We will move to West Linn." We went to the ward that day and after sacrament meeting the bishop and the Relief Society president found us right away and welcomed us and answered all of our questions. If we have been unsure about other decisions along the way, at least we can feel sure about this one decision. 
Paul has liked the idea of West Linn since early last year and I have had objections to it because of its reputation. It is a very well off area.  The homes are large.  The schools are some of the best in the country.  In all truth, it is a dreamy place to live.  I will admit it, I fear prosperity.  I fear abundance.  I abhor waist and excess when so many in the world have nothing.  Living in an area that is one of the richest cities in Portland, which is one of the most sought after cities in the country, which is one of the wealthiest countries in the world, makes me nervous.  I have always said that raising entitled, ungrateful over consuming children is one of my greatest fears.  About this issue, I know I am a bit extreme, I am a bit irrational and a bit crazy.  I get really uncomfortable in Costco.  I go to my children's classrooms and just cringe as they throw out so much that is untouched, reusable and recyclable.  The waist to me is overwhelming.  This article states that we throw away 40% of the food we produce in the US.  That does not surprise me at all, but it saddens me when so many people are hungry.  The waist in our home is more like 5% because I am scrupulous and a bit ridiculous.  I want my children to be hard workers, to realize how good they have it, and to be willing to give back to society because they have been given so much.  I have to check myself all the time because it causes me to have a tendency to be withholding with my children.  The scriptures clearly teach us that God is not withholding, but delights to bless us when we are righteous.  I feel like we have been abundantly blessed this year and to not pass on that abundance to my children is a crime.  I have not learned the right balance yet.  I also just finished reading the Book of Mormon this month which will make anyone double check where they are in the pride cycle if they have any wisdom at all.  It only takes one generation of entitled selfishness to lead a people steeply down.  The end of the Book of Mormon shows millions of people destroy each other because of their pride and rejection of righteousness and yet Moroni reminds us to have hope and joy and comfort in Christ.  In Alma 50: 22 it says: "And those who were faithful in keeping the commandments of the Lord were delivered at all times, whilst thousands of their wicked brethren have been consigned to bondage, or to perish by the sword, or to dwindle in unbelief, and mingle with the Lamanites.

 23 But behold there never was a ^ahappier time among the people of Nephi, since the days of Nephi, than in the days of Moroni, yea, even at this time, in the twenty and first year of the reign of the judges."  

I have to remember that being prosperous does not mean wickedness, it means happiness.  We just have to remain in a state of righteousness.  Just like poverty does not mean wickedness or righteousness, prosperity does not always mean wickedness.  I have to get this straight in my head.  I think of wealth as a sin sometimes because of all those that don't have it and suffer.  To be wealthy when others are not feels wrong.  I guess that's why God created the law of consecration and I will be so glad to live it one day.  Until then, I hope I can learn to be more generous and kind, to not hoard away money and goods because of a fear of scarcity and unrest.  I want to be prepared, but not afraid.  I want to live in West Linn, but take my children to work in orphanages in underprivileged countries and make them read a lot and give to those who need freely.  I look forward to having more to give and doing lots of good with the money that we bring in. I hope we can be a real force for good. 

To prepare to be the owner of his own practice, Paul has been pouring over business and leadership books.  He is always with book in hand.  He is a fine leader now, but I know he will only continue to improve.   He has a great desire to be good and I respect him tremendously.  We have grown a lot as a couple this year. 

Paul took his mock board exams a few months ago.  He scored second best in the whole country!  I am so proud of him.  His program director told Paul he was the luckiest ___ in the world.  It was not the kind of comment meant to make Paul feel good, rather, it he had malicious intentions, as usual.  Paul has learned to let these comments slide off his back, but this was sliding slowly when a card from my mom and dad came in the mail to congratulate Paul on his great success.  My parents had not heard about the luck comment, but had independently chosen a Star Wars card that talks to you when it opens and it says, "In my estimation, there is no such thing as LUCK!"  It made both of us tear up at its appropriateness to the moment and it's kindness.  I know there is no such thing as luck.  Paul has worked so hard and has earned the companionship of the spirit and we have been blessed by the Lord.  There has been no luck in this process, just a LOT of hard work and abundant blessings.